Amy Schumer Took Katie Couric's Phone, Texted Her Husband "Anal Tonight"

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  • Camden Kovacek Reply

    Fuck, man, I took a huge jizz and clogged your toilet. My bad.

  • Prince Dooley Reply

    man I took a lot of shrooms and this looks realllllllyyy fucking coool rn man tell your so that I dig this

  • Libbie Kuhlman Reply

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His first one, 100 years ago, was cancelled due to World War 1.](http://www.jta.org/2016/09/14/news-opinion/israel-middle-east/worlds-oldest-man-a-holocaust-survivor-in-israel-to-celebrate-bar-mitzvah-100-years-late) (todayilearned) [\[**724 comments**\]](/r/todayilearned/comments/5d2e93/til_the_worlds_oldest_man_is_celebrating_his_bar/) 15|+3592|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d35ld/153592117_dont_mess_with_me_rgifs/)** (1)|[Don't mess with me](http://i.imgur.com/T8yLmvE.gifv) (gifs) [\[**117 comments**\]](/r/gifs/comments/5d1wfy/dont_mess_with_me/) 16|+9362| |[Was bored at the car,Tried to match my face to abe lincoln on the 5$ bill and it WORKED !](http://imgur.com/0zylro9) (funny) [\[**491 comments**\]](/r/funny/comments/5d2fa4/was_bored_at_the_cartried_to_match_my_face_to_abe/) 17|+3195|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d3b6x/173195233_films_that_are_better_with_mobile_data/)** (1)|[Films that are better with mobile data [web comic]](http://imgur.com/gallery/d0YRs) (movies) [\[**233 comments**\]](/r/movies/comments/5d253i/films_that_are_better_with_mobile_data_web_comic/) 18|+3524|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d1hug/183524302_you_never_go_ass_to_mouth_rwtf/)** (1)|[You Never Go Ass To Mouth](https://gfycat.com/CheeryMassiveEnglishpointer) (WTF) [\[**302 comments**\]](/r/WTF/comments/5czvy0/you_never_go_ass_to_mouth/) 19|+2510|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d3jjo/19251058_one_good_thing_to_come_from_trump/)** (1)|[One good thing to come from Trump winning](http://i.imgur.com/e5iSCKH.jpg) (BlackPeopleTwitter) [\[**58 comments**\]](/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/5d2syr/one_good_thing_to_come_from_trump_winning/) 20|+775|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2j39/2077551_overwatch_assentials_nsfw_rgaming/)** (1)|[Overwatch assentials [NSFW]](https://www.imgur.com/G7zfm7z.jpg) (gaming) [\[**51 comments**\]](/r/gaming/comments/5d23lb/overwatch_assentials_nsfw/) 21|+6895| |[Amy Schumer promised to leave for Canada if Trump wins, billboards are popping up in LA exposing her for not following through](https://i.sli.mg/LP1y1b.jpg) (The_Donald) [\[**782 comments**\]](/r/The_Donald/comments/5d263b/amy_schumer_promised_to_leave_for_canada_if_trump/) 22|+6471| |[Good guys with this sign promoting basic humanity on campus](http://imgur.com/vdEXGIa.jpg) (HumansBeingBros) [\[**1075 comments**\]](/r/HumansBeingBros/comments/5d259k/good_guys_with_this_sign_promoting_basic_humanity/) 23|+2692|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d1nwj/23269270_perfect_for_date_night_rstarwars/)** (1)|[Perfect for date night](https://i.reddituploads.com/654465fd6a9145c4854dc5d7cc2d2f07?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d792f66427f0cfbc21c565417a66839a) (StarWars) [\[**70 comments**\]](/r/StarWars/comments/5d0a2z/perfect_for_date_night/) 24|+2301|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2wql/242301264_this_sub_right_now_rbattlefield_one/)** (1)|[This sub right now](https://i.redd.it/5y1ntjktrqxx.jpg) (battlefield_one) [\[**264 comments**\]](/r/battlefield_one/comments/5d1g54/this_sub_right_now/) 25|+2134|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d1eo0/25213453_sure_dude_roopsdidntmeanto/)** (1)|[Sure, dude.](http://i.imgur.com/q2XThSS.jpg) (OopsDidntMeanTo) [\[**53 comments**\]](/r/OopsDidntMeanTo/comments/5d08lw/sure_dude/) 26|+6015|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2eag/2660152734_new_climate_change_estimate_predicts/)** (1)|[New climate change estimate predicts global temperature increase of 4.78-7.36°C by 2100](http://advances.sciencemag.org/content/2/11/e1501923.full) (science) [\[**2734 comments**\]](/r/science/comments/5cz4a7/new_climate_change_estimate_predicts_global/) 27|+5896| |[President Trump gets debriefed](http://i.imgur.com/VE2eC1F.png) (4chan) [\[**166 comments**\]](/r/4chan/comments/5d272v/president_trump_gets_debriefed/) 28|+6579| |[Don't look at me](https://i.imgur.com/mFE7kTJ.gifv) (aww) [\[**539 comments**\]](/r/aww/comments/5d23z0/dont_look_at_me/) 29|+4308| |[Young mother dies during 30-day sentence in Michigan jail](http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/defenders/young-mother-dies-during-30-day-sentence-in-macomb-county-jail) (news) [\[**958 comments**\]](/r/news/comments/5d2hbc/young_mother_dies_during_30day_sentence_in/)

  • Blake Wyman Reply

    Congrats on your anal tonight Titans guy

  • Reyes Auer Reply

    It's going to be anal tonight, baby.

  • Nina Huels Reply

    Oh man. The salt is so real here. I clearly touched some deep nerves. Wasnt that last one your final post? Guess your ego was too fragile. Sorry, but you're reaching too far and your own assumptions are too far off to bother me. Suck it racist. You got trolled and you took the bait. That must be why the military sent you to someplace with no action.

  • Golden Mann Reply

    Jesus man I took a class in college where you had to take 2 classes for 20 percent of your grade and had to pass both to pass

  • Orville Bauch Reply

    This plays like shit on my phone. I see no anal though. Does squirt while doing anal?

  • Robyn Volkman Reply

    How is a Cell Phone like Anal Bleaching? They both let you change your ring tone.

  • Kailyn Rohan Reply

    We can do anal tonight.

  • Rahul Auer Reply

    Because the kid is practically Ice's neighbor and he took a video? take off the tinfoil hat man, not everyday someone drives a Maserati in your gated community, I'd take a pic too

  • Cecil Schowalter Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Kennedy Hudson Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Jaylen Kuhic Reply

    Great product for woman who dislike anal. Husband will be put off by the blood.

  • Conrad Macejkovic Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Arno Bahringer Reply

    Oh man I had this once when I took her shirt off. What an embarrassing thing. Not an outward embarrassment like your concerned how others are percieving you, but embarrassing to yourself. Just that feeling... So odd.

  • Madaline Nader Reply

    when Mike says he's not up for anal tonight

  • Cornelius O'Conner Reply

    I'm sure I'll see this fair and balanced anal plunder on Fox tonight.

  • Molly Borer Reply

    Amy Schumer is awful.

  • Brycen Kirlin Reply

    So anal tonight?

  • Tomas Gerlach Reply

    C'mon Pence! Earn that hot Lexi anal tonight!

  • Monserrate Walsh Reply

    Good job man! I am currently curious into starting my own journey into computer programming. How long would it say it took you to "learn" your first language.

  • Trevor Cummerata Reply

    Amy schumer

  • Kaya Lesch Reply

    Oh someone's gonna go down on the anal tonight. C'mere you.

  • Andreane Grimes Reply

    Yes, I do want to try anal tonight.

  • Gustave Ratke Reply

    I do anal, just don't wanna grab my phone with lube on my hands ha

  • Fernando Bernhard Reply

    As a mail man in the uk I echo your points. It also annoys me when people accuse you of not knocking. I spent 10 mins at a house the other day knocking, ringing the doorbell and shouting as I could hear people inside. Got fed up as we don't get spare 10 mins to waste so I took the parcel back. The customer rang up and complained that I never even tried. Fortunately GPS backed me up.

  • Gilberto Lakin Reply

    Fuck it I'm doing anal tonight. You interested?

  • Tony Hilll Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Sarina O'Kon Reply

    Give her an anal creampie for me tonight.

  • Citlalli Rodriguez Reply

    > "dindu nuffin" All of what you wrote, might be true, but this is a show mostly seen through kids eyes and voice, and I don't know if you know this little bit of trivia, but: Children mumble "I didn't do nothing" any time they get in trouble, which is where your supposed racism comes from. So getting anal that *dindu nuffin* is a racist slight by south park... I think you are in the wrong sub, and watching the wrong show. I hear Amy Schumer might have comedy more to your flavor.

  • Bret Pouros Reply

    Talking about your vagina and period is literally as bathroom humor as it gets... I don't understand how anyone could get upset about pointing that out. The reason people get defensive over it I think has also been addressed by South Park, actually... the queefing episode. For some reason it's extra repulsive and 'just not funny' when women do it, but why is that when bathroom humor is so well received when performed by men? I know we want to think we're above it... but this IS a South Park subreddit after all, a show famous for Cartman Gets an Anal Probe and Terrance and Phillip. We might not think those are their best jokes, but we also don't have the same reaction of angry disgust and 'cringe' and 'this isn't comedy' that we do when Amy Schumer jokes about her tampon, right? I'm not an Amy Schumer fan or a bathroom humor fan in general, I'm not defending it as quality or witty comedy whatsoever. I can see why she might be sick of being lambasted for potty humor in the same year that South Park is demoing smell-o-vision for their new video game so you can smell the fart weapons, though.

  • Troy Stracke Reply

    Is tonight going to end with anal or just a bj?

  • Camron Kshlerin Reply

    "Anal tonight?" Uh oh

  • Isaias Mohr Reply

    shes gettin anal tonight!

  • Candace Stiedemann Reply

    Do you enjoy anal or is it something you do for your husband?

  • Ryann Hegmann Reply

    Let's do anal tonight

  • Laney Mayert Reply

    She needs to do anal with guys who aren't her husband!

  • Lelah Marquardt Reply

    Amy Schumer.

  • Thurman Kulas Reply

    Man I hope your two little girls took two balls to the face while you were filming.

  • Cassie Will Reply

    Last night I was sitting with my friends on the beach drinking and listening to a dance party and feeling like I could be loved for who I was and enjoy moments (hard for me). I was throwing out my mostblunt/TMI lines , a bit Amy Schumer-esque, like "I like him because he gives me attention" or quoting my profile "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve anal on your birthday". One girl said I should come by more, and since joking around that way always make me feel a little uneasy, it was pretty satisfying to know someone enjoyed it. Especially since I've attempted to bury that part of me in order to have relationships, even though it seems to be the number one quality my friends appreciate and enjoy most about me. I was also thinking of all the fun things and stories that have happened this summer and all the growth I've had. That I wouldn't have gotten to do any of it if my ex and I were still together. I don't miss how he couldn't have a day without telling me he wished I was part of it, the way I still didn't feel like every moment was magical and I was forcing something at times, the way he wouldn't accept we should spend less time together as a solution, or the communication we tried to have because neither of us could communicate our needs or be honest - likely because neither of us really understands ourselves. Sure, I still miss him and wish he could be part of my life, he was incredible and there's never been anyone like him. Maybe he will be one day. But after the sex I had recently, I don't fear that he was the apex and no one will ever be better or that I need to be with him again for life to be okay. And hey, maybe one day I'll be able to believe in the possibility of staying with someone forever again, and not just until whenever we stop wanting to (unlikely though).

  • Samanta Kling Reply

    Jesus christ and I thought my parents were anal about cell phone usage lol.

  • Norval Shields Reply

    I always took that as "whatever you do in the future will decide that" as in "don't be a piece of shit, be a good man and you'll be sure of your selfworth"... or something.

  • Herbert Walsh Reply

    I'm tired of seeing this strawman argument here. No one said in any way that if you have ever been in a relationship with a man or took a long time to figure out your sexuality that you cannot be a lesbian. No one even implied it.

  • Rubye Funk Reply

    Oh, we're *definitely* doing anal tonight!

  • Adella Paucek Reply

    No sweetie, but we can still have anal tonight

  • Terry Windler Reply

    Here is a similar shot I took back in 2012 There awesome live, hope you had the time of your life man. http://imgur.com/wRNVay1

  • Jackson Torp Reply

    Someone's not gettin' anal tonight!

  • Lysanne Fisher Reply

    Give your wife some anal for me tonight.

  • Megane Shanahan Reply

    Looks like anal is on the menu tonight.

  • Jamel Dicki Reply

    No problem man. I wasn't trying to be a dick either. I'm happy you took it well. Update us on your new cut. Best of luck. Goodnight.

  • Jerrold Hayes Reply

    |#|Girl| |----|----| |01|Stoya| |02|Amy Schumer| |03|Emma Watson| |04|Dodger Leigh| |05|Kim Possible| |06|Madison Ivy| |07|Maisie Williams| |08|Krystal| |09|Princess Peach| |10|Melissa Rauch| |11|Emma Stone| |12|Asa Akira| |13|Meg Turney| |14|Barbara Dunkelman| |15|Sasha Grey| |16|Zone-tan| |17|Scarlett Johansson| |18|Natalie Dormer| |19|Emilia Clarke| |20|Cortana| |21|Ruby Rose| |22|Camren Bicondova| |23|Mia Malkova| |24|Jenna Marbles| |25|Marzia Bisognin| |26|Sarah Hyland| |27|Riley Reid| |28|Zelda| |29|Taylor Swift| |30|Julie Bowen| |31|Korra| |32|Dani Jensen| |33|Katy Perry| |34|Elle Fanning| |35|Rose Leslie| |36|Mia Khalifa| |37|Katheryn Winnick| |38|Kaley Cuoco| |39|Gwen Tennyson| |40|Lola Bunny| |41|Midna| |42|Jordyn Jones| |43|Juelz Ventura| |44|Weiss Schnee| |45|Gal Gadot| |46|Sophie Turner| |47|Paige Turnah| |48|Nathalie Emmanuel| |49|Ashley Benson| |50|Cara Delevingne| |#|KINKS| |----|----| |01|Blowjobs| |02|Handjobs| |03|Foot Fetish| |04|Anal| |05|Cheating| |06|Incest| |07|Ageplay| |08|Furry| |09|Bimbo| |10|Rape/Noncon| |11|Beast| |12|Rough sex| |13|Toys| |14|Outfits| |15|Stretching| |16|Cuck| |17|Toilet| |18|Gore| |19|Hair Pulling| |20|BDSM| |21|Bukkake| |22|Cum play| |23|Romance| |24|Deep Throating| |25|Gangbang| |26|Double Penatration| |27|Femdom| |28|Pegging| |29|Fisting| |30|Public| |31|Edging| |32|Massage| |33|Impreg | |34|Pain| |35|Rimming| |36|Interracial| |37|Lesbian| |38|Spanking| |39|Tentacle| |40|Futa|

  • Kiera O'Connell Reply

    Just don't waste balls. That's your own fault. Some times you just gotta let em go man. I used 21 ultra balls on a 1100cp Gengar, only took 5 for an 1100 Electabuzz. Shit happens.

  • Kelley Pfeffer Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Rosendo Grant Reply

    |#|Girl| |--|----| |01|Stoya| |02|Amy Schumer| |03|| |03|| 02. 03.Emma Watson 04.Dodger Leigh 05.Kim Possible 06.Madison Ivy 07.Maisie Williams 08.Krystal 09.Princess Peach 10.Melissa Rauch 11.Emma Stone 12.Asa Akira 13.Meg Turney 14.Barbara Dunkelman 15.Sasha Grey 16.Zone-tan 17.Scarlett Johansson 18.Natalie Dormer 19.Emilia Clarke 20.Cortana 21.Ruby Rose 22.Camren Bicondova 23.Mia Malkova 24.Jenna Marbles 25.Marzia Bisognin 26.Sarah Hyland 27.Riley Reid 28.Zelda 29.Taylor Swift 30.Julie Bowen 31.Korra 32.Dani Jensen 33.Katy Perry 34.Elle Fanning 35.Rose Leslie 36.Mia Khalifa 37.Katheryn Winnick 38.Kaley Cuoco 39.Gwen Tennyson 40.Lola Bunny 41.Midna 42.Jordyn Jones 43.Juelz Ventura 44.Weiss Schnee 45.Gal Gadot 46.Sophie Turner 47.Paige Turnah 48.Nathalie Emmanuel 49.Ashley Benson 50.Cara Delevingne KINKS 01.Blowjobs 02.Handjobs 03.Foot Fetish 04.Anal 05.Cheating 06.Incest 07.Ageplay 08.Furry 09.Bimbo 10.Rape/Noncon 11.Beast 12.Rough sex 13.Toys 14.Outfits 15.Stretching 16.Cuck 17.Toilet 18.Gore 19.Hair Pulling 20.BDSM 21.Bukkake 22.Cum play 23.Romance 24.Deep Throating 25.Gangbang 26.Double Penatration 27.Femdom 28.Pegging 29.Fisting 30.Public 31.Edging 32.Massage 33.Impreg 34.Pain 35.Rimming 36.Interracial 37.Lesbian 38.Spanking 39.Tentacle 40.Futa

  • Donnie Pfeffer Reply

    Bet he gets some anal tonight.

  • Terrence Berge Reply

    Vaginal, anal, oral, cyber, phone sex!

  • Armando Leannon Reply

    "No anal tonight..."

  • Stacy Bins Reply

    Amy schumer.. I know.

  • Chester Windler Reply

    ....anal tonight?

  • Ludwig Rowe Reply

    amy schumer

  • Stacey Grimes Reply

    I literally was about to work myself into an anxiety attack, came across this post, took your advice, and it worked like a charm. Thanks man you really helped me.

  • Axel Reinger Reply

    Amy Schumer pls no

  • Mustafa Weimann Reply

    Amy schumer

  • Harmon Wunsch Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Maurice Kautzer Reply

    Mfw phone sex is less weird than anal...

  • Rigoberto Kreiger Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Marquise Halvorson Reply

    There will be no anal tonight

  • Jolie Kuvalis Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Abdul Wilkinson Reply

    Do not bring it up to her not the porn don't even talk about anal sex. You do not want her to think or know you looked at her porn history on her phone.

  • Carlo Bode Reply

    Well in America the phone company's anal rape us with pricing. I think that's what he's getting at

  • Keshaun Waters Reply

    Tfw I can't even bring my regular phone in to camp since I'm in SPF and HTA is anal about cameras D:

  • Consuelo Cartwright Reply

    "Honey? Why does you phone say you've been searching for femdom anal pegging?"

  • Kenya Powlowski Reply

    Your welcome! It took a long time of begging, but she finally let me show her off, I'm a lucky man!

  • Ida Kassulke Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Rex West Reply

    Tried to have anal and just wasn't feeling it that night. He got up and left the house. It was my husband.

  • Felipa Waelchi Reply

    It's a sign. Anal tonight.

  • Bridie Shields Reply

    Anal....left house....WAS my husband......... So how you doing ? *winks*

  • Sarina Reynolds Reply

    Anal tonight?

  • Ahmed Hahn Reply

    --Amy Schumer

  • Stewart Towne Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Kristy Stehr Reply

    > sympathy anal Is that a thing? Don't tell my husband...

  • Arnaldo Gottlieb Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Korey Legros Reply

    Well, I did bang a chick that looked almost exactly like Amy Schumer. Something about that type just says angry-anal-on-the-first-date to me, so I did.

  • Joseph Kunze Reply

    anal tonight?

  • Jesus Romaguera Reply

    Amy Schumer

  • Deshawn Witting Reply

    Is rooting ~~c~~anal, as hard like rooting your phone?

  • Clarabelle Legros Reply

    If I didn't know she would like it I'd choose Amy Schumer for anal sex with Mandingo

  • Alison Ward Reply

    Amy Schumer

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