Which one of you guys painted a penis on the Tour de France?

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  • Which one of you guys painted a penis on the Tour de France?
  • Epicly British road graffiti at Le Tour de France
  • Which one of you Lcpl's did this? Xpost r/funny

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Comments (84)

  • Tianna Hansen Reply

    Suck my dick you fuck man!

  • Johathan Denesik Reply

    Getting fit or increasing your fitness is a never a bad choice. Consciously making new friends and/or connecting with old ones with the purpose of only including people who are positive influences. And FTR...a long overdue drink or two with the boys/girls counts as a positive influence. People who are not only positive but who are also likely to see the qualities and value in you that you've come to doubt after continual rejection. Reconnecting with old pursuits that you enjoyed. Doesn't matter if it's underwater basket weaving. Something you found some pleasure in and would again. **Things to watch out for** Change can be threatening in relationships where mutual support hasn't been in abundant supply. Be on the lookout for behaviors by your SO that would seek to undermine the positive things you're hoping to achieve. No...you probably don't have your sights on the Tour de France, but a 30-40 minute ride two or three times a week shouldn't be causing waves at home. If it is there's some other motivation for the discord.....whether it's conscious/willful or not. Hopefully your SO enjoys the change at minimum....better yet wants to join in and share that time with you. But either way, as time goes on you'll feel better about yourself and if the DB proves to truly be unworkable you'll be in a better place mentally and physically with whatever steps you take going forward.

  • Deondre O'Conner Reply

    Instructions unclear. Wrecked penis into hand.

  • Gertrude Zemlak Reply

    jiggle their titties and touch my penis

  • Alena Macejkovic Reply

    I lived with 2 guys in uni and we all used to bike. I got a new bike one day and put it with the rest of them, my housemate got home late in the night and the next morning I woke up to texts he had sent when he got in and saw the bike. He assumed it was the other guy's and was going on about how sweet a ride it was and all that. Then when he found out it was mine he started taking the piss and asking stupid stuff like was I going to do the Tour de France. This wasn't even the only sexist thing but it's the one that annoyed me the most, because girls can't have nicer things that guys, right? Idiot.

  • Velma Jakubowski Reply

    It's funny cuz penis.

  • Percival Daniel Reply

    I wouldnt say less developed so much as differently developed. [This](http://imgur.com/O0iVb88) is a real sized replica of a clitoris that my professor had printed a few weeks agom ot actually grows more than the penis does during arousal relatively speaking!

  • Junior Pollich Reply

    That's a penis playing a guitar

  • Elisabeth Lesch Reply

    I know man I'm just being a dick

  • Noemi Doyle Reply

    Nice guys have needs too. Penis needs.

  • German Vandervort Reply

    I wouldn't necessarily call them Heroes but these are people who greatly influenced me because of their ideas, actions, skills, or work ethic. **Henry David Thoreau** ideas on civil disobedience influenced Ghandi, MLK and Banksy. Himself and the rest of the transcendentalist brought up very poignant questions and criticism towards technology. His ideas are why I try to live a more Spartan life style. *We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate…. As if the main object were to talk fast and not to talk sensibly. We are eager to tunnel under the Atlantic and bring the Old World some weeks nearer to the New; but perchance the first news that will leak through into the broad, flapping American ear will be that the Princess Adelaide has the whooping cough.* **Ed Abbey** is to Environmentalist, what Hunter S. Thompson is to hipsters and potheads. I think he is a brash and modern version of H.D. Thoreau and a little less "peaceful." *There is no shortage of water in the desert but exactly the right amount , a perfect ratio of water to rock, water to sand, insuring that wide free open, generous spacing among plants and animals, homes and towns and cities, which makes the arid West so different from any other part of the nation. There is no lack of water here unless you try to establish a city where no city should be.* **Noam Chomsky** is one of the greatest intellectual out our time who mostly goes unnoticed because he doesn't have the Moxie of pop scientists like Neil deGrasse Tyson and Richard Dawkins. A lot of this is probably due to the fact that he's an anarchist who does not do a very good job of communicating to people who are stupid as I am. *That is what I have always understood to be the essence of anarchism: the conviction that the burden of proof has to be placed on authority, and that it should be dismantled if that burden cannot be met.* **Ed Snowden** should have provoked serious though to any denizen of the internet. *Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say,* Other people I don't want to leave out are: **Diogenes if Sinope** (my name sake) *I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?* **Leonardo Da Vinci** not because if his work specifically but because he famously represented guys who tinker around in their garages. Specific to my hobbies however. **Athletically:** [Thor Hushovd](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryYnaYLtP38) an almost 200lbs. cyclists who slamed it in the Tour de France. It is very rare for sprinters to wear the yellow Jersey but he has done so a few times. I love this guy because I am a larger person who is close to 200 pounds that really enjoys Endurance Sports. [Jigoro Kano](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eltsUNTHQb8) the founder of Judo, is one of the most revolutionary martial artists of the modern era. He thought better fighters can be produced by focusing on the "less deadly a brutal" techniques that can be safely practiced at full speed with resisting opponents rather than a bunch of the self-proclaimed maiming and killing techniques. An Uchi Mata is not as devastating as some Krav Maga maming strike but I'll bet on the Judoka landing his technique. [Muhammad Ali](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2EfL1j4KYE] needs no explanation. **Creatively:** [Ansel Adams's](http://janethephilosopher.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/38_-Adams-Moonrise-Hernandez-NM-1941.jpg) a photography. [Geezer Butler's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwbpwkUkV3I), and [James Jameson's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQKUXUmG6ss). I like my bass playing to be solid and pretty hot but not too flashy. The wood worker [Roy Underhill](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au1TbIyLcPU). Due to his influence, I am fascinated with pre-industrial technology.

  • Andreane Pacocha Reply

    It's a penis, but why do you care what gay guys think if you're not gay?

  • Carmelo Mueller Reply

    Why are penis funny for guys?

  • Scotty Hirthe Reply

    From Google translate (sorry have not the time to do a full translate, but it is somehow close) BRAVO hip hip hurray for the hero he earned his medal and happiness is in his eyes he knows that before his feat Today the world swoons yet he does not remember why the crowd cheering Has he won the Tour de France or has he saved a life but it does not matter since they know those who cry BRAVO but the girl he loves is not there moreover it does not interest she does not know that's it he fought and he won but what can comfort him it is this crowd that calls BRAVO hip hip houra for the hero he earned his medal and glory devoured his eyes he does not know he does not know he cut a sliced ​​monster or if he killed some soldiers or if it crossed the English Channel he no longer sees all those there who crowd around him and not follow the step and what matters is that they shout BRAVO but the girl he loves is not there moreover it does not interest she does not know that's it he fought and he won but what can comfort him it is this crowd that calls BRAVO hip hip houra for the hero he earned his medal In french: BRAVO hip hip hourra pour le héros il a mérité sa médaille et le bonheur est dans ses yeux il sait que devant son exploit aujourd'hui le monde se pâme pourtant il ne se souvient pas pourquoi cette foule l'acclame A t-il gagné le tour de France ou a t-il sauvé une vie mais cela n'a pas d'importance puisqu'ils le savent ceux qui crient BRAVO mais la fille qu'il aime n'est pas là d'ailleurs ça ne l'intéresse pas elle ne sait pas que c'est pour elle qu'il s'est battu et qu'il gagné mais ce qui peut le consoler c'est cette foule qui l'appelle BRAVO hip hip houra pour le héros il a mérité sa médaille et la gloire dévoré ses yeux il ne sait plus il ne sait pas s'il a coupé un monstre en tranches ou s'il a tué quelques soldats ou bien s'il a franchi la Manche il ne voit plus que tout ceux là qui se pressent tout autour de lui et qui le suivent pas à pas et ce qui compte c'est qu'ils crient BRAVO mais la fille qu'il aime n'est pas là d'ailleurs ça ne l'intéresse pas elle ne sait pas que c'est pour elle qu'il s'est battu et qu'il gagné mais ce qui peut le consoler c'est cette foule qui l'appelle BRAVO hip hip houra pour le héros il a mérité sa médaille

  • Rowena Kub Reply

    I ain't got time for sex and my dick knows it. Ten second trip to the pussy and my dick blows it. I used to last hours like the Tour de France. When I was in college I could keep her in a sex trance for hours at a time like singin music to the blind it was like a ball a twine in that it kept comin. Her body was an instrument I kept strummin. Now to make her cum I gotta start hummin. I miss the days when I could keep a woman cummin with my cock it was more that just some talk it was solid like a rock I was right up there with Spock and now it's over. I ain't even old yet But my beard is turnin grey and my knees are tryin to fail and this is supposed to be the time that my game is lasting longer. But my body's getting weaker as my mind is getting stronger. The sex power that I had was based on innocence. It was living homeless and getting beaten that did it in. Being hungry and afraid taught me what it means to get paid. The worst feeling in my life was being caught without my knife in the middle of a dark street in Boston, bein kicked in the head and thinkin I'd be dead. I had worked in a trauma ward with veteran TBIs and when I begged for money it was much to my surprise that you don't need to be in Falluja to take a hit to head, all you need is a big guy who would like to see you dead and for whatever reason, maybe something that you said, he's got you on your back and kicking you because he's seeing red. I got saved by a pair of guys who stood there with passive eyes until my throat screamed NO! in a way I've never heard before. They went zeros to heroes in the blink of an eye. The magic catalyst was a human animal cry. Some kinda voice I couldn't make even if it tried. It made them realize that they could choose not to just stand by. As they dragged their drunk piece of shit friend away, I called after them "he needs help or he's gonna kill a man someday!" That was the the end my invincibility. Somehow it also put a stop to my bedroom ability. It was the start of my life as a wise man. I don't know why but the lack of staying power came hand in hand. I'd love to keep telling this story but I gotta go. If you wanna hear more about the journey then let me know.

  • Breana Lakin Reply

    This one took a while longer to make than the last one I did, but I think the end result is better. Done in Ableton with a bit of help from some drum machines here and there and Serato for the scratches. Let me know what you think, and be mean if you want to. All source material is either CD or vinyl with the exception of the movie clips. Tracklisting is as follows: The Carpenters - Sing MIMS - This Is Why I'm Hot David Bowie - I'm Afraid of Americans Jungle Brothers - Jungle Brother (Aphrodite Mix) Tom Petty - Freefallin' Pharell Williams - Happy Taylor Swift - Shake It Off (drums only, don't worry) Jimmy Eat World - The Middle Notorious BIG - Things Done Changed Billy Squier - The Stroke Chingy - Tipsy Big L - MVP Alphawezen - Into the Stars (Firebirds Remix) 50 Cent - In Da Club Kimbra - I Wanna Settle Down The Rapture - No Sex for Ben Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication Jay-Z - Ignorant Shit Slumberjack - Horus Dr. Dre - The Next Episode Westworld (movie) Nas - If I Ruled the World Method Man - Release Yo Delf AC/DC - Hell's Bells Cypress Hill - How I Could Just Kill a Man George Carlin - A Modern Man Aleem - Release Yourself (Dub) The Bangles - Walk Like an Egyptian Ludacris - When I Move Lo-Fidelity Allstars - Battleflag Blahzay Blahzay - Danger Notorious BIG - Who Shot Ya? L.L. Cool J - I Shot Ya Eminem - Guilty Conscience Parliament Funkadelic - Flashlight Digital Underground - Rhymin' On the Funk Das EFX - Microphone Masters Ace Frehley - New York Groove Sir Own - Hooked (Kon's Nite Time Remix) Run DMC - Walk This Way Nas - Made You Look A.D.O.R. - One For the Trouble Eric B. & Rakim - Microphone Fiend Black Rob - Whoa! Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It Lit - My Own Worst Enemy Ice Cube - We Be Clubbin' The Ting Tings - Shut Up and Let Me Go Daft Punk - Da Funk Queen - Another One Bites the Dust Beastie Boys - Ch-Check It Out Beyonce and Jay-Z - Crazy In Love Fats Domino - I'm Walkin' Kurtis Blow - The Breaks Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam - Head to Toe Blondie - Heart of Glass Caribou - Cherry Bomb Public Enemy - Bring the Noise N.E.R.D. - Things Are Getting Better Cameo - Word Up Eminem - Without Me Lidell Townsell - Nu Nu DZ Death Rays - Reflective Skull Propellerheads - Spybreak! Propellerheads - Take California Wu Tang Clan - The Mystery of Chessboxin Marvin Gaye - Got to Give It Up The Cure - Wrong Number (Digital Exchange Mix) Jay Z - Change Clothes The White Stripes - The Hardest Button to Button Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines Eminem - Cleanin' Out My Closet Missy Elliott - Gossip Folks Major Lazer - Pon de Floor Tim Deluxe - It Just Won't Do The Goodmen - Give It Up Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At Deadmau5 - Ghosts n Stuff M.I.A. - Bang N.A.S.A. feat. Kanye West - Gifted After the Fire - Der Kommisar Flo Rida - Good Feeling The Clash - Rock The Casbah Shannon - Let the Music Play Rick James - Super Freak LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk Is Playing At My House Kraftwerk - Tour De France Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls The Prodigy - Funky Shit Ready For the World - Oh Sheila Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know Zhu - Faded Jamie xx - SeeSaw New Order - Blue Monday Technotronic - Pump Up the Jam Billy Idol - Mony Mony Trick Daddy - Low 2 Live Crew - One And One Birdman - Written On Her RL Grime - Scylla Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Blinded by the Light Jay-Z - Moment of Clarity TNGHT - Buggn Incredible Bongo Band - Last Bongo in Belgium Destiny's Child - Say My Name Led Zeppelin - When the Levee Breaks Detroit Grand Pu Bahs - Sandwiches Michael Jackson - Beat It Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. Jack Constanzo & His Orchestra - Peter Gunn Mambo Boston - Foreplay / Long Time Robert Palmer - Bad Case of Lovin' You Olivia Newton John - Heart Attack Lil Wayne - Lollipop The Dust Brothers - Jack's Smirking Revenge Nelly - Country Grammar Bill Withers - Use Me Wiz Khalifa - No Sleep Linkin Park - Waiting For the End Chrome Sparks - Marijuana Fatboy Slim - The Weekend Starts Here Black Sabbath - Paranoid Kaiser Chiefs - Na Na Na Na Naa (Polysics Remix) Unk - Walk It Out Squarepusher - Planetarium Jay-Z - Can I Get A Camp Lo - Luchini Massive Attack - Inertia Creeps Faith No More - Epic Public Enemy - Shut 'Em Down Kenny Rogers - The Gambler Michael Jackson - They Don't Care About Us Beastie Boys - Paul Revere Rush - Tom Sawyer J Geils Band - Love Stinks Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man 50 Cent - Get Up Peter Gabriel - Games Without Frontiers Point Point - Nexterday Ed Sheeran - Bloodstream The Crystal Method - (Can't You) Trip Like I Do Tha Alkaholiks - The Next Level The Buzzcocks - Why Can't I Touch It Run D.M.C. - Sucker M.C.'s Beyonce - Work It Out Living Colour - Cult of Personality Fabolous - Breathe Beyonce and Jay-Z - Crazy In Love Blacksheep - The Choice Is Yours Tears For Fears - Shout Sly Fox - Let's Go All the Way Outkast - Skew It on the Barbie Slick Rick - Mona Lisa The Jackson Five - ABC

  • Shane Mohr Reply

    Can I opt to stick my penis in a meat grinder instead?

  • Luigi Kemmer Reply

    i-its not gay if the penis is feminine right guys?

  • Otho Dickens Reply

    Penis: Probably my dad walking out of the shower when I was super little. I didn't think much of it. Vagina: Playing "doctor" with the girl down the street. I was uhh.. 8? She was around 11 or 12. Her family moved not long after. I sure hope it wasn't because of us getting caught. It wasn't like she was molesting me or anything, we were just doing what kids do. :| Innocent exploration.

  • Jadon Wuckert Reply

    This one took a while longer to make than the last one I did, but I think the end result is better. Let me know what you think, and be mean if you want to. Tracklisting is as follows: The Carpenters - Sing MIMS - This Is Why I'm Hot David Bowie - I'm Afraid of Americans Jungle Brothers - Jungle Brother (Aphrodite Mix) Tom Petty - Freefallin' Pharell Williams - Happy Taylor Swift - Shake It Off (drums only, don't worry) Jimmy Eat World - The Middle Notorious BIG - Things Done Changed Billy Squier - The Stroke Chingy - Tipsy Big L - MVP Alphawezen - Into the Stars (Firebirds Remix) 50 Cent - In Da Club Kimbra - I Wanna Settle Down The Rapture - No Sex for Ben Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication Jay-Z - Ignorant Shit Slumberjack - Horus Dr. Dre - The Next Episode Westworld (movie) Nas - If I Ruled the World Method Man - Release Yo Delf AC/DC - Hell's Bells Cypress Hill - How I Could Just Kill a Man George Carlin - A Modern Man Aleem - Release Yourself (Dub) The Bangles - Walk Like an Egyptian Ludacris - When I Move Lo-Fidelity Allstars - Battleflag Blahzay Blahzay - Danger Notorious BIG - Who Shot Ya? L.L. Cool J - I Shot Ya Eminem - Guilty Conscience Parliament Funkadelic - Flashlight Digital Underground - Rhymin' On the Funk Das EFX - Microphone Masters Ace Frehley - New York Groove Sir Own - Hooked (Kon's Nite Time Remix) Run DMC - Walk This Way Nas - Made You Look A.D.O.R. - One For the Trouble Eric B. & Rakim - Microphone Fiend Black Rob - Whoa! Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It Lit - My Own Worst Enemy Ice Cube - We Be Clubbin' The Ting Tings - Shut Up and Let Me Go Daft Punk - Da Funk Queen - Another One Bites the Dust Beastie Boys - Ch-Check It Out Beyonce and Jay-Z - Crazy In Love Fats Domino - I'm Walkin' Kurtis Blow - The Breaks Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam - Head to Toe Blondie - Heart of Glass Caribou - Cherry Bomb Public Enemy - Bring the Noise N.E.R.D. - Things Are Getting Better Cameo - Word Up Eminem - Without Me Lidell Townsell - Nu Nu DZ Death Rays - Reflective Skull Propellerheads - Spybreak! Propellerheads - Take California Wu Tang Clan - The Myustery of Chessboxin Marvin Gaye - Got to Give It Up The Cure - Wrong Number (Digital Exchange Mix) Jay Z - Change Clothes The White Stripes - The Hardest Button to Button Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines Eminem - Cleanin' Out My Closet Missy Elliott - Gossip Folks Major Lazer - Pon de Floor Tim Deluxe - It Just Won't Do The Goodmen - Give It Up Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At Deadmau5 - Ghosts n Stuff M.I.A. - Bang N.A.S.A. feat. Kanye West - Gifted After the Fire - Der Kommisar Flo Rida - Good Feeling The Clash - Rock The Casbah Shannon - Let the Music Play Rick James - Super Freak LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk Is Playing At My House Kraftwerk - Tour De France Sean Kingston - Beautiful Girls The Prodigy - Funky Shit Ready For the World - Oh Sheila Gotye - Somebody That I Used To Know Zhu - Faded Jamie xx - SeeSaw New Order - Blue Monday Technotronic - Pump Up the Jam Billy Idol - Mony Mony Trick Daddy - Low 2 Live Crew - One And One Birdman - Written On Her RL Grime - Scylla Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Blinded by the Light Jay-Z - Moment of Clarity TNGHT - Buggn Incredible Bongo Band - Last Bongo in Belgium Destiny's Child - Say My Name Led Zeppelin - When the Levee Breaks Detroit Grand Pu Bahs - Sandwiches Michael Jackson - Beat It Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. Jack Constanzo & His Orchestra - Peter Gunn Mambo Boston - Foreplay / Long Time Robert Palmer - Bad Case of Lovin' You Olivia Newton John - Heart Attack Lil Wayne - Lollipop The Dust Brothers - Jack's Smirking Revenge Nelly - Country Grammar Bill Withers - Use Me Wiz Khalifa - No Sleep Linkin Park - Waiting For the End Chrome Sparks - Marijuana Fatboy Slim - The Weekend Starts Here Black Sabbath - Paranoid Kaiser Chiefs - Na Na Na Na Naa (Polysics Remix) Unk - Walk It Out Squarepusher - Planetarium Jay-Z - Can I Get A Camp Lo - Luchini Massive Attack - Inertia Creeps Faith No More - Epic Public Enemy - Shut 'Em Down Kenny Rogers - The Gambler Michael Jackson - They Don't Care About Us Beastie Boys - Paul Revere Rush - Tom Sawyer J Geils Band - Love Stinks Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man 50 Cent - Get Up Peter Gabriel - Games Without Frontiers Point Point - Nexterday Ed Sheeran - Bloodstream The Crystal Method - (Can't You) Trip Like I Do Tha Alkaholiks - The Next Level The Buzzcocks - Why Can't I Touch It Run D.M.C. - Sucker M.C.'s Beyonce - Work It Out Living Colour - Cult of Personality Fabolous - Breathe Beyonce and Jay-Z - Crazy In Love Blacksheep - The Choice Is Yours Tears For Fears - Shout Sly Fox - Let's Go All the Way Outkast - Skew It on the Barbie Slick Rick - Mona Lisa The Jackson Five - ABC

  • Brant Greenholt Reply

    That's a funny word for penis.

  • Keagan Nolan Reply

    Ping. The room was lit, momentarily, by the notification that popped up on my phone screen. Dammit, I thought I'd finally figured out how to block her. Guess ancient geas are a tad more complicated to escape than a quick swipe left. Oh well, what action failed to resolve I'm sure procrastination would deal with. The message quickly faded and the screen dimmed until all that was left to record its passing was a single addition to the three hundred and forty two other attention starved residents of my, rapidly overflowing, inbox. At first I'd read them all, she seemed so earnest about the whole thing. And I'd tried, I really had. Signed up for every dating site she'd forwarded. Even the ones with prominently displayed six-pacs and chaps who seemed to have dropped the soap. Whilst not wearing trousers. Of course those had petered out after a somewhat uncomfortable discussion about science in general, biology in particular, and how two birds can't make a hive and other, extremely tortured, euphemisms. Couple hundred years under the belt and apparently she hadn't figured out the particular mechanics of where first borns actually come from. Amazing what isn't included in ye olde witchy curricula. It's not like I wasn't trying. And to be fair, she should have suspected that payment would take a while. A contract, signed in red ink after I'd fainted at the mention of blood, to bind Eldridge abominations to the fulfillment of my heart's deepest desire...a new series of the oft maligned, criminally under-rated, "Space Lads!" franchise, the greatest tour de force in speculative science fiction cinematography since...well, ever. We'd met on a Friday night. At 9. I was already in my star wars jammies. There was coco. In a mug proudly emblazoned with a cat declaring its dislike for Mondays. We'd spent hours crafting the exact clauses, piles of my favorite philosophy and legal reference books had steadily grown as we'd argued over epistemology and grammatical nuance. I'd giggled. Frequently. She really should have known better. But she hadn't. And now we find ourselves in this weird relationship. She's become my mom, at least the way she'd been before she'd given up and accepted Mister Meow-gi as a furrier, more feline, grandchild than was originally expected. And really it's not that bad. Certainly the penis enlargement forwards had been perhaps a little unkind, but her heart was probably in the right place. And to her credit, she'd really done a lot to fill in the blanks since our conversation. The articles she clipped out of Cosmo and dropped through the letterbox certainly displayed a rather more developed sense of bedroom business than she'd had before. I dare say she hadn't imagined there were more than 2 uses for toothpaste, let along the 28 rather crude suggestions in this week's edition, before she'd met me. We'd had a very heated discussion after those incidents with the girls she'd bought over - frankly I'm not convinced that kidnapping is an ancient witch tradition (fortunately a bracing cup of coco, a few episodes of Space Lads!, and a chat about warding rituals and banishing potions left everyone a lot happier than they'd been once gags were removed and argyle socks handed out). And of course I'm too much of a gentleman to repeat the whole love potion palava. So now she goes speed dating on my behalf. Sends me photos of the ones I might like. Their phone numbers sometimes. I feel terrible about letting her down but I'm so busy. The Space Lads! fan-club really does take up so very much of my time. And I think all the socializing is really rather good for her. She hasn't hexed anyone in weeks apparently.

  • Cameron Frami Reply

    it's funny because penis

  • Bonnie Mueller Reply

    Funny looking penis

  • Tyrel Quitzon Reply

    La vache, that Leclerc tank took me way more time to draw than it should! So, the story behind this comic is that when the French national holiday was chosen in 1880, it hadn't been specified what it was supposed to celebrate. The 14th of July was convenient since it had a positive background for the main political ideologies of the time, Republicans and Monarchists. Since Monarchists have almost disappeared today, July 14th 1790 has been mostly forgotten, hence the fact that the French national holiday is now known in English as "Bastille Day". Mexico had nothing to do with that decision, I'm just referencing that well-known ad where everyone is arguing about whether tortillas should be hard or soft, and a little girl comes up asking "Why not both?" :D (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSTJ5Xe-E8c) More context about last panel: - Each July 14th, there is a very popular military parade on the Champs-Élysées, with soldiers, tanks, and the only planes authorised to fly above Paris during the whole year. - A foreign country is often invited to take part to the parade. This year, Australia and New Zealand have been chosen amongst the countries who fought during the Battle of the Somme in 1916. Funnily enough, last year it was Mexico :P - Most of you probably saw the reference to the little Portuguese boy comforting the crying French supporter. - All of the other depicted countries are France's neighbours. UK is currently winning the other great French event of July, the Tour de France, with Chris Froome (he wore the Yellow Shirt in Andorra, where it is the first time anything's happening this century) - Luxembourg and Monaco have to use a 200€ bill as a sunshade because unfortunately the 500€ one is being put out of circulation... Poor little guys :/ Finally, little Polan is hidden twice in this comic. Will you find him? #ET BON 14 JUILLET À TOUS !

  • Delta Lockman Reply

    If I call an audio porno a 'tour de force', does that make me sound conceited? Actually, I don't care. /u/theperpetualwilliam, the concept alone is hot but it's the little details - the little lines so carefully calibrated to maximise the arousal of each customer/master. So damn good. And Sass, you take the script and chew it like it actually does taste of penis. I would applaud if my hands weren't busy elsewhere. Your clear enthusiasm for this role has definitely sold me (and probably dozens or hundreds of others) on the public use fetish.

  • Hosea Keeling Reply

    I see London, I see France, you have a penis on yer pants.

  • Celestine Russel Reply

    Yes, the irony is while they've been painting all of the hate for the trailer as misogynistic, some of the big criticisms is how they're reinforcing racial stereotypes and how every man in the movie is being portrayed as an idiot or an asshole. Combine that with the humorous attacks on the penis, and there's a good argument that the "feminist" movie has become a man-bashing movie rife with caricatures.

  • Alvena Mante Reply

    It just made my penis jiggle.

  • Anthony Wilderman Reply

    [130.7kph or 81 mph this year] (http://www.cyclingweekly.co.uk/news/racing/tour-de-france/122kph-jeremy-roy-went-even-faster-tour-de-france-stage-nine-258371) I would never take my feet off the pedals like that, if you hit a bump you need to be able to absorb the shock... not a job for one's cock

  • Elbert Bernier Reply

    It's funny because it looks like a penis.

  • Wilber Lockman Reply

    The problem is, in most sports, what is not legal is illegal. Lack of control in the end zone? Incomplete pass! Bit of Vaseline where it shouldn't be? Spitball! Years' old sample of pee testing a bit hot? Kiss seven Tour De France titles goodbye! But in racing, it's hard to say whether a few thousandths of an inch makes a huge difference over 400 miles, particularly on a car is being bumped and rubbed, and bounced all over. NASCAR should publish a list of variations that constitute, in their opinion, a "competitive advantage," and those that don't. Then, the can say, "well, we're going to file this one away, and see what happens in future inspections. If a bunch of winners come in with this number out of whack, and the 2nd and 3rd place cars don't, then we'll suspect that these guys are doing it on purpose." Sometimes, penalty flags get picked up. And, when they do, it's not a conspiracy -- everywhere but NASCAR.

  • Marina Boyer Reply

    6th grade. We were reading The Hatchet and somehow my teacher ended up going into a story about when she was a little girl playing near the woods with a friend. A man walked out holding his penis and asked them if they wanted to play. It was out of nowhere and the entire class was having a wtf moment. That was her last day.

  • Myron Price Reply

    I agree with most of this really great advice, with a few exceptions: - I actually think selfies are totally fine if you're attractive, or if you're good at taking them, or if you use a selfie stick. If you have an iPhone, try to stick to the backwards-facing lens because the forward-facing lens reduces the photo quality. - For the main profile pic, I think a flattering colour is more important than a vivid colour that catches the eye. I don't stop on a picture because of a red shirt, I stop if a guy has amazing blue eyes and the shirt colour draws that out. - I don't think there is a non-douchey way to show of "Access to cool shit. Nice watch or car; exotic holidays; fancy house? Find a non douchey way to show them off." I would actually swipe left if someone includes his car because it's such a daft thing to include. It would have to be someone I super liked and was willing to OVERLOOK the car pic. Ostentatious wealth is a big turn-off to me. - "However you with two or more girls will be a positive." Totally depends on the posing. Male in a group of girls looking chummy and everyone having a good time? ok maybe, though I don't really like these shots as I think it makes it so obvious you're not short of female attention WTF are you doing on Tinder? Mixed group is better in my book as it makes a guy look less like a player and a flirt and more someone who's into having a good time. Male with two or more girls plastered up against him l like the Tour de France and Formula 1 podium girls? Instant WANKER. I think you Americans call this a douchebag. And it should be obvious, but it's not in my town, DON'T take photos on the toilet. Lid up or down. Pants up or down. Don't f*cking care. It's gross. End of my rant. Sorry.

  • Jonatan Koss Reply

    I want to jiggle my penis in it.

  • Orion Mertz Reply

    I'm pretty sure that your diagnoses is specious and slanderous, and while it might be with the best of intentions without any sort of proof or actual experience "They kind of look like it, and besides steroid use is prominent in the media" is really a rather vague and weak body of evidence to accuse these girls of steroid use. When in doubt, give the benefit of the doubt. It's not even like it's an open secret like with the Tour de France or professional sports, or Body building. Seriously, if you're anywhere involved in a professional capacity in a position to actually make diagnoses like that, you should have learned to not do that unless you can point to actual virilization. None of those women have that. Heck, they don't even have unreasonable amounts of muscle mass for women, it's not like they're suddenly competing with the top percentile of men. They're just beating out most couch potato motherfuckers.

  • Elena Leannon Reply

    It's people who are aggressively anti-establishment. But when a lot of people get mad at 'the establishment' they're thinking of Hilary and Obama. Both threaten tradition American masculinity (Clinton for obvious reasons, Obama because the president should be swaggering tough guy who [brags about the size of his dick at debates](http://variety.com/2016/biz/news/donald-trump-penis-gop-debate-rubio-video-1201722389/) and not a bookish law professor). They also both threaten traditional American racial hierarchies, Obama for obvious reasons, Clinton because of where so much of her support (particularly that support which is allowing her to beat Sanders) comes from.

  • Cristopher Mertz Reply

    Ever had a really hot professor? I've had too many of those. It makes me Kinda glad I don't have a penis. I can safely stand up at the end of class.

  • Demarco Hamill Reply

    Its funny cause penis soup

  • Tobin Gottlieb Reply

    I wonder if TJ is into furies? Either way, you'd really get wrecked. That's like 280 pounds of forces fucking your ass, although the micro penis might negate all of that.

  • Garrick Hilpert Reply

    > inspected the guys penis really well With her tongue, I'm sure.

  • Arjun Treutel Reply

    It's like Lance Armstrong, if he were an even bigger insufferable dick in public (but only pretending to be one!), and also if you knew that the Tour de France was choreographed so that he would win in nauseatingly predictable fashion every time, at the expense of cyclists you knew to be considerably more talented than him.

  • Everette Prohaska Reply

    I think most the ppl on r/penis are guys looking for good looking dicks

  • Mariam Vandervort Reply

    How do you make a little girl cry twice? Wipe your bloody penis on her teddy bear

  • Ronaldo Paucek Reply

    TIFU by admitting to reddit that I have a small penis. FTFY

  • Bettie Carroll Reply

    When Marguerite de Bourgogne (Margaret of Burgundy) had an affair in the Tour de Nesle Affair at the same time than Blanche de Bourgogne, her sister-in-law. Marguerite and Blanche got caught and sent to a fortress, where Margaret died (Blanche was transferred to another castle after her husband became King). As a result, the child that Margaret had with her husband, Louis X Hutin, a girl called Jeanne de Navarre, couldn't clearly be recognized as a heir to the Crown of France. As a result, when Jeanne grew up, a law was passed, preventing females from accessing the throne. She was still able to get title to the crown of Navarre and pass it on to her son. Margaret's husband died, along with his two other brothers. And the succession wasn't clear due to the adultery. This sparked the One Hundred Years War.

  • Godfrey McKenzie Reply

    Little girl: Yo man gimme Donald Trumps penis. Balloon guy: Gotchu fam.

  • Mario Trantow Reply

    Man that game made my dick hurt

  • Kennedy Sipes Reply

    They are ok with a few sport events, like the tour de france... but they are very limited on most events. I don't blame them, they lack the resources to do everything at A+ quality. Example of today. 4x 100m free style swimming. The NOS shows us heat 1 (with the Dutch women) then goes back to the studio talking, while Canada, USA and Australia (the 3 major rivals) are swimming their heat. We only get to see the last swimmer of heat 2, while any swim fan wants to see how the big favourites do their qualifying heat. It is very important! (split times, which girls is in form etc) Many teams have 5 or even 6 swimmers and only 4 can swim the finals, so they use the qualifying race as a selection for themselves as well. We want to see that! But no, the NOS skips that, for some talk that could perfectly be done 10 minutes later... The BBC would show all important races and talk afterwards. It's a lot of these minor things, all day, every day that add up.

  • Daniela Brakus Reply

    Jiggle wiggle - penis.

  • Johnathon Ferry Reply

    maybe they'll fix it if someone outlines the pothole with a giant painted penis http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/this-man-is-painting-penises-on-potholes-so-the-council-has-to-take-action--ekSuZ63mgW

  • Hope Littel Reply

    The penis jiggle.

  • Waino Klocko Reply

    This is a serious problem. Squirrel, you must have a nut for you to survive. They are very squirrel is a nut you have been have been had forgotten to leave of literally thousands of trees to grow every year. Do you know what happens to the squirrel? Either they or confirm the details of the nut, or they are dead. They will die a shit. Do all you have to say about this "LMAO ayy.", But you have to perish the lovers of these nuts? ! It's awful. Who is it also I am I can not believe you'd say such a thing. Why do I have a lot of respect for the squirrel? Why I'll tell you. One night, I was hanging out with my friends. We, absolutely wasted in within five minutes, I went to the downtown bar. Well, I did. I, I was doing things that they do not know on the planet. So, after picking up completely in a dozen outside for a while of the girl of my mind, I realized that was not picking up all of the girl, who also I think it is drunk stupid I think that it is me. So, I decided to prove that you are they wrong. I went down to the park was really peace. I found a tree to that of the holes from something or beetle or some other insect, and I you have a sweet sweet love to the virgin tree where you unzipped my pants. I learned something that day. Well, I've learned two things. First, chaffs bark is not just like sandpaper of about fast your penis. This is smaller than some of the STD, it is a fun experience. Secondly, you want to not put the tree to tree. Because whether there squirrel around, looking for a nut. And, it has certainly found a nut. Oh, it was discovered the nut. Now, I only of people are walking around like a Lance Armstrong, please do not confuse me for the man of the month. Even as some, I, he has a trophy of only a few of the Tour de France. Anyways. TL; DR: Mettorisu became the Lance Armstrong. We are respected please refer to the squirrel

  • Cameron Hoppe Reply

    So I'm a girl who also bike races. I think the key to "any" relationship is communication. Who cares if you are not a cat 2? Sure, perhaps you may not be doing Tour de France, but its something you like to do, your passion. If she has hobbies / interests that take a lot of time, also be supportive of those:). I've never had a boyfriend, bc nyc is weird like that, but if I did, would understand and support his hobbies. Relationships should encompass honesty as well, and only grow from communicating openly with one another. She is really lucky to have you! Best of luck!

  • Hollis Turner Reply

    It's funny cuz it's a penis.

  • Cortez Jast Reply

    Man just don't be a dick

  • Lloyd Bartoletti Reply

    Exactly. Seeing a penis won't destroy a little girl's life.

  • Karlee Dickens Reply

    So? It's a lesser level... I'm sure the U18 athletes and Paralympics athletes also work hard, do you pay attention to them honestly? I'm sure the fastest white runners also try hard, or the best non-Asian pingpong players, or the best black swimmers ... you value it equally because they try hard? Nah, you value the top achievement a human being can make. I'm not dissing female medals, but they're usually on page 6 of the papers. Male medals are just worth a bit more because they're the human top, they're the household names, they're the sports we watch outside the Olympics as well. Why isn't your WNBA even half as popular as your NBA? Why does Canada go crazy about Men's Hockey World Championships, but do I hear little about the female hockeysters? Which girl did even win a Tour de France for girls lately? Who knows... not undervaluing those achievement, but honestly, fewer care about it.

  • Arno Stoltenberg Reply

    Active reddit account, small penis

  • Monserrate Dach Reply

    Hey organic grinder was my nickname in penis school

  • Halle Flatley Reply

    Because God took it out and made Eve out of Adam's penis bone. http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2015/12/30/bible-professor-believes-this-one-mistranslated-word-means-eve-was-not-created-from-adams-rib-but-from-a-very-different-body-part/

  • Terry Jacobs Reply

    They're doped. Like in any professional sport. The tour de france had rigorous testing and they were so doped, that they almost had drugs instead of blood in their veins. No amount of training is going to give a natural girl a body like this: http://www.gymnation.co.nz/uploads/monthly_2016_04/natalie-newhart-steroids.png.903a2faa70ad5a72e9494bb365c90807.png

  • Cynthia Cormier Reply

    Be aware that the success rates are sketchy at best, terrifying at worse. You could end up with a wrecked penis altogether.

  • Brenna Greenfelder Reply

    *Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of* [***MWS***](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mws) : --- >Morning Wood Syndrome - Waking with an erect penis. Occurs every morning of the world to every male, often at inopportune times, making for awkward situations. --- _1. "Man, I had to give my oral presentation in class this morning in class, and I was scared to death I was going to have MWS!"_ _2. "I was being given a tour of the plant, and I'll be damned if MWS didn't hit."_ _3. "I'm sorry, I can't slow dance with you right now. Why not is something wrong? No, it's just that I have a terrible case of MWS."_ _4. "Easter Sunday morning at church when the pastor says, 'please stand and sing hymn 416' I have MWS. It never fails."_ _5. "Every morning I try to go pee, but I can't because of MWS. I have to pull a [superman](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=superman)."_ _6. "MWS wakes me up every morning, and the only medicine is to squeeze one out."_ --- [^(about)](http://www.reddit.com/r/autourbanbot/wiki/index) ^| [^(flag for glitch)](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/autourbanbot&subject=bot%20glitch&message=%0Acontext:https://www.reddit.com/r/de/comments/4iexu1/seid_ihr_eigentlich_auch_einsam/d2xu185) ^| ^(**Summon**: urbanbot, what is something?)

  • Emelia Yundt Reply

    other penises like G/B scens or like G/B/B scenes? My focus isn't really on the penis its on the hot chick getting wrecked.

  • Bridget Torphy Reply

    USA: "Penis" France: "Oui Oui"

  • Marcus Wilkinson Reply

    It's funny cause slang for penis in Ireland is mickey

  • Marian Bins Reply

    >This certainly isn't the first dick we've seen on the Tour de France. Nor the last.

  • Jose Shields Reply

    The only guys I know who typically have a large penis in them are gay, so...

  • Viviane Hermiston Reply

    Man, What a dick.

  • Carolina Jacobi Reply

    Lucky Star was my first exposure to CGDCT. You wouldn't think that 25 minutes of high school girls being cute would be that good, but it totally works. Road cycling. Ever watch the Tour de France? Unless you're really into the sport, it's not that interesting, let's be honest here. But Yowamushi Pedal added in some fantastic characters and knocked it out of the park. Tennis is another polarizing sport; most people either feel strongly about it, or just don't give a damn about it. But again, shows like Ace o Nerae and Baby Steps! have come out and shown that you can build fantastic genre pieces around it.

  • Roma Miller Reply

    Putting my penis into a meat grinder.

  • Henriette Gerhold Reply

    Main Penis Stage Monday Stop by to get your balls wrecked Sure thing

  • Enid Batz Reply

    To all of the guys that see a penis and down vote: Go away.

  • Madisyn Lueilwitz Reply

    That man "has no dick".

  • Ellen Auer Reply

    One of the top 5 Reddit posts yesterday was a drawing of Donald Trump with a small penis.

  • Consuelo Gleichner Reply

    Is that you penis grinder!?!?

  • Mitchel Smith Reply

    looks like the a michelin man dick

  • Antoinette McLaughlin Reply

    Every dog has his day, and tomorrow if Froome Dogs day. http://www.marmeladrome.co.uk/tour-de-france-2016-stage-8/

  • Gus Hartmann Reply

    Why does his penis look so dark.

  • Marcelina Sauer Reply

    Compensation for having small penis

  • Raheem Homenick Reply

    Amico di questo? http://mashable.com/2016/07/04/penis-tour-de-france/#uTGGtWHH0Gqf

  • Stephany Stehr Reply

    X-Post referenced from /r/funny by /u/cantankeruss [Which one of you guys painted a penis on the Tour de France?](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/4r3lvc/which_one_of_you_guys_painted_a_penis_on_the_tour/) ***** ^^I ^^am ^^a ^^bot. ^^I ^^delete ^^my ^^negative ^^comments. ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=OriginalPostSearcher) ^^| ^^[Code](https://github.com/papernotes/Reddit-OriginalPostSearcher) ^^| ^^[FAQ](https://github.com/papernotes/Reddit-OriginalPostSearcher#faq)

  • Roy O'Hara Reply

    I met him on grinder... he sure knows how to ride a penis like he was doing tour de france