Amy Schumer Took Katie Couric's Phone, Texted Her Husband "Anal Tonight"
source: youtube
Amy Schumer Took Katie Couric's Phone, Texted Her Husband "Anal Tonight"
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Comments (89)
Fuck, man, I took a huge jizz and clogged your toilet. My bad.
man I took a lot of shrooms and this looks realllllllyyy fucking coool rn man tell your so that I dig this
\#|Score|Deleted? (/r/undelete)|Post :--|:--|:--|:--|:-- 1|+5741|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d20tb/15741890_image_never_give_up_rgetmotivated/)** (2)|[[Image] Never give up.](http://i.imgur.com/J8S3xKw.jpg) (GetMotivated) [\[**890 comments**\]](/r/GetMotivated/comments/5d16e9/image_never_give_up/) 2|+2902|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2oz2/22902449_good_guys_with_this_sign_promoting_basic/)** (1)|[Good guys with this sign promoting basic humanity on campus](http://imgur.com/vdEXGIa.jpg) (HumansBeingBros) [\[**449 comments**\]](/r/HumansBeingBros/comments/5d259k/good_guys_with_this_sign_promoting_basic_humanity/) 3|+4013|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2e8u/34013139_gymnastics_mannequin_challenge_rwoahdude/)** (1)|[Gymnastics mannequin challenge](http://i.imgur.com/slF0KlH.gifv) (woahdude) [\[**139 comments**\]](/r/woahdude/comments/5d10yo/gymnastics_mannequin_challenge/) 4|+9213| |[Google will soon ban fake news sites from using its ad network - Cutting off their revenue streams](http://www.theverge.com/2016/11/14/13630722/google-fake-news-advertising-ban-2016-us-election) (worldnews) [\[**1861 comments**\]](/r/worldnews/comments/5d2cwf/google_will_soon_ban_fake_news_sites_from_using/) 5|+5677|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d3k0a/55677270_hip_hop_trooper_doing_his_thing_rgifs/)** (1)|[Hip Hop Trooper doing his thing](http://i.imgur.com/Ul9yiO5.gifv) (gifs) [\[**270 comments**\]](/r/gifs/comments/5d2gg8/hip_hop_trooper_doing_his_thing/) 6|+3763|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d3bxg/6376389_tl83_rblackpeopletwitter/)** (1)|[TL-83](https://i.reddituploads.com/070adb9b4065481cab375415cc5d3f11?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=468f7f7285d9ac202cf722fda3662249) (BlackPeopleTwitter) [\[**89 comments**\]](/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/5d2ufw/tl83/) 7|+6643|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d3b5u/66643754_it_took_japan_2_days_to_fix_the_sinkhole/)** (1)|[It took Japan 2 days to fix the sinkhole](https://i.redd.it/3h7ia2vdorxx.jpg) (woahdude) [\[**754 comments**\]](/r/woahdude/comments/5d1zi8/it_took_japan_2_days_to_fix_the_sinkhole/) 8|+2999|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2e9p/82999349_canadian_government_to_repeal_ban_on/)** (1)|[Canadian Government to Repeal Ban on Anal Sex from Criminal Code](http://ipolitics.ca/2016/11/14/liberals-to-repeal-anal-sex-ban-in-criminal-code/) (nottheonion) [\[**349 comments**\]](/r/nottheonion/comments/5d16ha/canadian_government_to_repeal_ban_on_anal_sex/) 9|+6010|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d1dp1/86010338_this_is_benben_beforeafter_death_row/)** (1)|[This is BenBen. Before/After death row.](https://i.redd.it/2x8ec3d5doxx.jpg) (BeforeNAfterAdoption) [\[**338 comments**\]](/r/BeforeNAfterAdoption/comments/5czdks/this_is_benben_beforeafter_death_row/) 10|+5519|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d0v3n/65519549_found_this_on_a_4th_grade_hallway_rfunny/)** (1)|[Found this on a 4th Grade Hallway](http://imgur.com/YqQRgW0) (funny) [\[**549 comments**\]](/r/funny/comments/5cz8xh/found_this_on_a_4th_grade_hallway/) 11|+4503|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d29hg/114503356_if_you_have_a_friend_or_know_someone/)** (2)|[If you have a friend or know someone who lives alone, consider asking them to come over for Thanksgiving so they won't be alone.](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeProTips/comments/5d08a7/if_you_have_a_friend_or_know_someone_who_lives/) (LifeProTips) [\[**356 comments**\]](/r/LifeProTips/comments/5d08a7/if_you_have_a_friend_or_know_someone_who_lives/) 12|+5702| |[Apple's $300 book contains 450 photos of Apple products](http://www.wired.co.uk/gallery/apple-book-photos-cost) (nottheonion) [\[**1424 comments**\]](/r/nottheonion/comments/5d2s4x/apples_300_book_contains_450_photos_of_apple/) 13|+3462|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d1y80/13346243_tuna_breath_rperfecttiming/)** (1)|[Tuna breath.](https://i.redd.it/ks2k71awepxx.jpg) (PerfectTiming) [\[**43 comments**\]](/r/PerfectTiming/comments/5d0f61/tuna_breath/) 14|+10244| |[TIL the world's oldest man is celebrating his bar mitzvah at age 113. His first one, 100 years ago, was cancelled due to World War 1.](http://www.jta.org/2016/09/14/news-opinion/israel-middle-east/worlds-oldest-man-a-holocaust-survivor-in-israel-to-celebrate-bar-mitzvah-100-years-late) (todayilearned) [\[**724 comments**\]](/r/todayilearned/comments/5d2e93/til_the_worlds_oldest_man_is_celebrating_his_bar/) 15|+3592|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d35ld/153592117_dont_mess_with_me_rgifs/)** (1)|[Don't mess with me](http://i.imgur.com/T8yLmvE.gifv) (gifs) [\[**117 comments**\]](/r/gifs/comments/5d1wfy/dont_mess_with_me/) 16|+9362| |[Was bored at the car,Tried to match my face to abe lincoln on the 5$ bill and it WORKED !](http://imgur.com/0zylro9) (funny) [\[**491 comments**\]](/r/funny/comments/5d2fa4/was_bored_at_the_cartried_to_match_my_face_to_abe/) 17|+3195|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d3b6x/173195233_films_that_are_better_with_mobile_data/)** (1)|[Films that are better with mobile data [web comic]](http://imgur.com/gallery/d0YRs) (movies) [\[**233 comments**\]](/r/movies/comments/5d253i/films_that_are_better_with_mobile_data_web_comic/) 18|+3524|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d1hug/183524302_you_never_go_ass_to_mouth_rwtf/)** (1)|[You Never Go Ass To Mouth](https://gfycat.com/CheeryMassiveEnglishpointer) (WTF) [\[**302 comments**\]](/r/WTF/comments/5czvy0/you_never_go_ass_to_mouth/) 19|+2510|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d3jjo/19251058_one_good_thing_to_come_from_trump/)** (1)|[One good thing to come from Trump winning](http://i.imgur.com/e5iSCKH.jpg) (BlackPeopleTwitter) [\[**58 comments**\]](/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/5d2syr/one_good_thing_to_come_from_trump_winning/) 20|+775|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2j39/2077551_overwatch_assentials_nsfw_rgaming/)** (1)|[Overwatch assentials [NSFW]](https://www.imgur.com/G7zfm7z.jpg) (gaming) [\[**51 comments**\]](/r/gaming/comments/5d23lb/overwatch_assentials_nsfw/) 21|+6895| |[Amy Schumer promised to leave for Canada if Trump wins, billboards are popping up in LA exposing her for not following through](https://i.sli.mg/LP1y1b.jpg) (The_Donald) [\[**782 comments**\]](/r/The_Donald/comments/5d263b/amy_schumer_promised_to_leave_for_canada_if_trump/) 22|+6471| |[Good guys with this sign promoting basic humanity on campus](http://imgur.com/vdEXGIa.jpg) (HumansBeingBros) [\[**1075 comments**\]](/r/HumansBeingBros/comments/5d259k/good_guys_with_this_sign_promoting_basic_humanity/) 23|+2692|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d1nwj/23269270_perfect_for_date_night_rstarwars/)** (1)|[Perfect for date night](https://i.reddituploads.com/654465fd6a9145c4854dc5d7cc2d2f07?fit=max&h=1536&w=1536&s=d792f66427f0cfbc21c565417a66839a) (StarWars) [\[**70 comments**\]](/r/StarWars/comments/5d0a2z/perfect_for_date_night/) 24|+2301|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2wql/242301264_this_sub_right_now_rbattlefield_one/)** (1)|[This sub right now](https://i.redd.it/5y1ntjktrqxx.jpg) (battlefield_one) [\[**264 comments**\]](/r/battlefield_one/comments/5d1g54/this_sub_right_now/) 25|+2134|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d1eo0/25213453_sure_dude_roopsdidntmeanto/)** (1)|[Sure, dude.](http://i.imgur.com/q2XThSS.jpg) (OopsDidntMeanTo) [\[**53 comments**\]](/r/OopsDidntMeanTo/comments/5d08lw/sure_dude/) 26|+6015|**[YES](/r/undelete/comments/5d2eag/2660152734_new_climate_change_estimate_predicts/)** (1)|[New climate change estimate predicts global temperature increase of 4.78-7.36°C by 2100](http://advances.sciencemag.org/content/2/11/e1501923.full) (science) [\[**2734 comments**\]](/r/science/comments/5cz4a7/new_climate_change_estimate_predicts_global/) 27|+5896| |[President Trump gets debriefed](http://i.imgur.com/VE2eC1F.png) (4chan) [\[**166 comments**\]](/r/4chan/comments/5d272v/president_trump_gets_debriefed/) 28|+6579| |[Don't look at me](https://i.imgur.com/mFE7kTJ.gifv) (aww) [\[**539 comments**\]](/r/aww/comments/5d23z0/dont_look_at_me/) 29|+4308| |[Young mother dies during 30-day sentence in Michigan jail](http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/defenders/young-mother-dies-during-30-day-sentence-in-macomb-county-jail) (news) [\[**958 comments**\]](/r/news/comments/5d2hbc/young_mother_dies_during_30day_sentence_in/)
Congrats on your anal tonight Titans guy
It's going to be anal tonight, baby.
Oh man. The salt is so real here. I clearly touched some deep nerves. Wasnt that last one your final post? Guess your ego was too fragile. Sorry, but you're reaching too far and your own assumptions are too far off to bother me. Suck it racist. You got trolled and you took the bait. That must be why the military sent you to someplace with no action.
Jesus man I took a class in college where you had to take 2 classes for 20 percent of your grade and had to pass both to pass
This plays like shit on my phone. I see no anal though. Does squirt while doing anal?
How is a Cell Phone like Anal Bleaching? They both let you change your ring tone.
We can do anal tonight.
Because the kid is practically Ice's neighbor and he took a video? take off the tinfoil hat man, not everyday someone drives a Maserati in your gated community, I'd take a pic too
Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer
Great product for woman who dislike anal. Husband will be put off by the blood.
Amy Schumer
Oh man I had this once when I took her shirt off. What an embarrassing thing. Not an outward embarrassment like your concerned how others are percieving you, but embarrassing to yourself. Just that feeling... So odd.
when Mike says he's not up for anal tonight
I'm sure I'll see this fair and balanced anal plunder on Fox tonight.
Amy Schumer is awful.
So anal tonight?
C'mon Pence! Earn that hot Lexi anal tonight!
Good job man! I am currently curious into starting my own journey into computer programming. How long would it say it took you to "learn" your first language.
Amy schumer
Oh someone's gonna go down on the anal tonight. C'mere you.
Yes, I do want to try anal tonight.
I do anal, just don't wanna grab my phone with lube on my hands ha
As a mail man in the uk I echo your points. It also annoys me when people accuse you of not knocking. I spent 10 mins at a house the other day knocking, ringing the doorbell and shouting as I could hear people inside. Got fed up as we don't get spare 10 mins to waste so I took the parcel back. The customer rang up and complained that I never even tried. Fortunately GPS backed me up.
Fuck it I'm doing anal tonight. You interested?
Amy Schumer
Give her an anal creampie for me tonight.
> "dindu nuffin" All of what you wrote, might be true, but this is a show mostly seen through kids eyes and voice, and I don't know if you know this little bit of trivia, but: Children mumble "I didn't do nothing" any time they get in trouble, which is where your supposed racism comes from. So getting anal that *dindu nuffin* is a racist slight by south park... I think you are in the wrong sub, and watching the wrong show. I hear Amy Schumer might have comedy more to your flavor.
Talking about your vagina and period is literally as bathroom humor as it gets... I don't understand how anyone could get upset about pointing that out. The reason people get defensive over it I think has also been addressed by South Park, actually... the queefing episode. For some reason it's extra repulsive and 'just not funny' when women do it, but why is that when bathroom humor is so well received when performed by men? I know we want to think we're above it... but this IS a South Park subreddit after all, a show famous for Cartman Gets an Anal Probe and Terrance and Phillip. We might not think those are their best jokes, but we also don't have the same reaction of angry disgust and 'cringe' and 'this isn't comedy' that we do when Amy Schumer jokes about her tampon, right? I'm not an Amy Schumer fan or a bathroom humor fan in general, I'm not defending it as quality or witty comedy whatsoever. I can see why she might be sick of being lambasted for potty humor in the same year that South Park is demoing smell-o-vision for their new video game so you can smell the fart weapons, though.
Is tonight going to end with anal or just a bj?
"Anal tonight?" Uh oh
shes gettin anal tonight!
Do you enjoy anal or is it something you do for your husband?
Let's do anal tonight
She needs to do anal with guys who aren't her husband!
Amy Schumer.
Man I hope your two little girls took two balls to the face while you were filming.
Last night I was sitting with my friends on the beach drinking and listening to a dance party and feeling like I could be loved for who I was and enjoy moments (hard for me). I was throwing out my mostblunt/TMI lines , a bit Amy Schumer-esque, like "I like him because he gives me attention" or quoting my profile "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve anal on your birthday". One girl said I should come by more, and since joking around that way always make me feel a little uneasy, it was pretty satisfying to know someone enjoyed it. Especially since I've attempted to bury that part of me in order to have relationships, even though it seems to be the number one quality my friends appreciate and enjoy most about me. I was also thinking of all the fun things and stories that have happened this summer and all the growth I've had. That I wouldn't have gotten to do any of it if my ex and I were still together. I don't miss how he couldn't have a day without telling me he wished I was part of it, the way I still didn't feel like every moment was magical and I was forcing something at times, the way he wouldn't accept we should spend less time together as a solution, or the communication we tried to have because neither of us could communicate our needs or be honest - likely because neither of us really understands ourselves. Sure, I still miss him and wish he could be part of my life, he was incredible and there's never been anyone like him. Maybe he will be one day. But after the sex I had recently, I don't fear that he was the apex and no one will ever be better or that I need to be with him again for life to be okay. And hey, maybe one day I'll be able to believe in the possibility of staying with someone forever again, and not just until whenever we stop wanting to (unlikely though).
Jesus christ and I thought my parents were anal about cell phone usage lol.
I always took that as "whatever you do in the future will decide that" as in "don't be a piece of shit, be a good man and you'll be sure of your selfworth"... or something.
I'm tired of seeing this strawman argument here. No one said in any way that if you have ever been in a relationship with a man or took a long time to figure out your sexuality that you cannot be a lesbian. No one even implied it.
Oh, we're *definitely* doing anal tonight!
No sweetie, but we can still have anal tonight
Here is a similar shot I took back in 2012 There awesome live, hope you had the time of your life man. http://imgur.com/wRNVay1
Someone's not gettin' anal tonight!
Give your wife some anal for me tonight.
Looks like anal is on the menu tonight.
No problem man. I wasn't trying to be a dick either. I'm happy you took it well. Update us on your new cut. Best of luck. Goodnight.
|#|Girl| |----|----| |01|Stoya| |02|Amy Schumer| |03|Emma Watson| |04|Dodger Leigh| |05|Kim Possible| |06|Madison Ivy| |07|Maisie Williams| |08|Krystal| |09|Princess Peach| |10|Melissa Rauch| |11|Emma Stone| |12|Asa Akira| |13|Meg Turney| |14|Barbara Dunkelman| |15|Sasha Grey| |16|Zone-tan| |17|Scarlett Johansson| |18|Natalie Dormer| |19|Emilia Clarke| |20|Cortana| |21|Ruby Rose| |22|Camren Bicondova| |23|Mia Malkova| |24|Jenna Marbles| |25|Marzia Bisognin| |26|Sarah Hyland| |27|Riley Reid| |28|Zelda| |29|Taylor Swift| |30|Julie Bowen| |31|Korra| |32|Dani Jensen| |33|Katy Perry| |34|Elle Fanning| |35|Rose Leslie| |36|Mia Khalifa| |37|Katheryn Winnick| |38|Kaley Cuoco| |39|Gwen Tennyson| |40|Lola Bunny| |41|Midna| |42|Jordyn Jones| |43|Juelz Ventura| |44|Weiss Schnee| |45|Gal Gadot| |46|Sophie Turner| |47|Paige Turnah| |48|Nathalie Emmanuel| |49|Ashley Benson| |50|Cara Delevingne| |#|KINKS| |----|----| |01|Blowjobs| |02|Handjobs| |03|Foot Fetish| |04|Anal| |05|Cheating| |06|Incest| |07|Ageplay| |08|Furry| |09|Bimbo| |10|Rape/Noncon| |11|Beast| |12|Rough sex| |13|Toys| |14|Outfits| |15|Stretching| |16|Cuck| |17|Toilet| |18|Gore| |19|Hair Pulling| |20|BDSM| |21|Bukkake| |22|Cum play| |23|Romance| |24|Deep Throating| |25|Gangbang| |26|Double Penatration| |27|Femdom| |28|Pegging| |29|Fisting| |30|Public| |31|Edging| |32|Massage| |33|Impreg | |34|Pain| |35|Rimming| |36|Interracial| |37|Lesbian| |38|Spanking| |39|Tentacle| |40|Futa|
Just don't waste balls. That's your own fault. Some times you just gotta let em go man. I used 21 ultra balls on a 1100cp Gengar, only took 5 for an 1100 Electabuzz. Shit happens.
Amy Schumer
|#|Girl| |--|----| |01|Stoya| |02|Amy Schumer| |03|| |03|| 02. 03.Emma Watson 04.Dodger Leigh 05.Kim Possible 06.Madison Ivy 07.Maisie Williams 08.Krystal 09.Princess Peach 10.Melissa Rauch 11.Emma Stone 12.Asa Akira 13.Meg Turney 14.Barbara Dunkelman 15.Sasha Grey 16.Zone-tan 17.Scarlett Johansson 18.Natalie Dormer 19.Emilia Clarke 20.Cortana 21.Ruby Rose 22.Camren Bicondova 23.Mia Malkova 24.Jenna Marbles 25.Marzia Bisognin 26.Sarah Hyland 27.Riley Reid 28.Zelda 29.Taylor Swift 30.Julie Bowen 31.Korra 32.Dani Jensen 33.Katy Perry 34.Elle Fanning 35.Rose Leslie 36.Mia Khalifa 37.Katheryn Winnick 38.Kaley Cuoco 39.Gwen Tennyson 40.Lola Bunny 41.Midna 42.Jordyn Jones 43.Juelz Ventura 44.Weiss Schnee 45.Gal Gadot 46.Sophie Turner 47.Paige Turnah 48.Nathalie Emmanuel 49.Ashley Benson 50.Cara Delevingne KINKS 01.Blowjobs 02.Handjobs 03.Foot Fetish 04.Anal 05.Cheating 06.Incest 07.Ageplay 08.Furry 09.Bimbo 10.Rape/Noncon 11.Beast 12.Rough sex 13.Toys 14.Outfits 15.Stretching 16.Cuck 17.Toilet 18.Gore 19.Hair Pulling 20.BDSM 21.Bukkake 22.Cum play 23.Romance 24.Deep Throating 25.Gangbang 26.Double Penatration 27.Femdom 28.Pegging 29.Fisting 30.Public 31.Edging 32.Massage 33.Impreg 34.Pain 35.Rimming 36.Interracial 37.Lesbian 38.Spanking 39.Tentacle 40.Futa
Bet he gets some anal tonight.
Vaginal, anal, oral, cyber, phone sex!
"No anal tonight..."
Amy schumer.. I know.
....anal tonight?
amy schumer
I literally was about to work myself into an anxiety attack, came across this post, took your advice, and it worked like a charm. Thanks man you really helped me.
Amy Schumer pls no
Amy schumer
Amy Schumer
Mfw phone sex is less weird than anal...
Amy Schumer
There will be no anal tonight
Amy Schumer
Do not bring it up to her not the porn don't even talk about anal sex. You do not want her to think or know you looked at her porn history on her phone.
Well in America the phone company's anal rape us with pricing. I think that's what he's getting at
Tfw I can't even bring my regular phone in to camp since I'm in SPF and HTA is anal about cameras D:
"Honey? Why does you phone say you've been searching for femdom anal pegging?"
Your welcome! It took a long time of begging, but she finally let me show her off, I'm a lucky man!
Amy Schumer
Tried to have anal and just wasn't feeling it that night. He got up and left the house. It was my husband.
It's a sign. Anal tonight.
Anal....left house....WAS my husband......... So how you doing ? *winks*
Anal tonight?
--Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer
> sympathy anal Is that a thing? Don't tell my husband...
Amy Schumer
Well, I did bang a chick that looked almost exactly like Amy Schumer. Something about that type just says angry-anal-on-the-first-date to me, so I did.
anal tonight?
Amy Schumer
Is rooting ~~c~~anal, as hard like rooting your phone?
If I didn't know she would like it I'd choose Amy Schumer for anal sex with Mandingo
Amy Schumer