Squirrel Thief

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  • Every two years, the squirrel steals a camera in order to film it's nuts
  • Man takes of video of a squirrel in a park
  • MFW awkwardly struggling to film a lift
  • WCGW if I film this squirrel eating
  • So long and thanks for everything!
  • This squirrel stealing this camera
  • I'm stoned, and this cracked me up
  • Squirrel steals camera
  • Don't move a muscle
  • Show you the world
  • Mine now sucker!
  • Squirrel Thief
  • pretty🐿️good
  • Camera thief
  • me irl
  • カメラ泥棒

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Comments (38)

  • Gail Leannon Reply

    I used to have a feline squirrel hunting buddy. He'd come running at the sound of my pellet rifle, then he'd walk a little ahead of me mewing to scare up squirrels for me to shoot. Then he'd get the downed squirrel, and take off with it under the deck so I couldn't get it. He was a great cat. A bit of a thief, but a damned good cat.

  • Parker Lueilwitz Reply

    We had a hole in our screen last summer. Came home to a mangled, half eaten Cadbury egg on the dining room table. Wasn't positive it was a squirrel until we saw a caramel-y, sticky ass chocolate thief prancing around the yard. At least he ate at the table.

  • Darron Ward Reply

    The majority of gun deaths in the US are suicides, which will likely be unaffected by things like assault rifle bans (which is a common gun control push) The dems also focus on fear/shooting based campaigns for gun control, which means that their not addressing the actual problem and their actually convincing the average citizen that maybe they NEED a gun. Is gun control the most effective form of suicide prevention? Probably not. Our mental health system certainly needs some work. There's also a weird view that all people carry/own guns strictly in case they have to shoot other people. And that's a lot of it. But I seldom carry a gun unless I'm going to be out in the woods. I'm more concerned about a squirrel revolution (or a mean raccoon, or a black bear, or whatever) than I am about some random thief at a gas station. And hunting requires multiple guns. In super rural places lots of people have guns, but large shootings are pretty uncommon, so the campaigning sounds a lot like "some idiots shot each other a lot in a big city far away, so we don't think you guys can have your guns"

  • Ophelia Zemlak Reply

    You could go several directions. You could have a pissed off eco-warrior, seething with hatred for mankind for despoiling nature. Or, you could do like I'm doing, and play a druid that loves the little forest creatures, and uses nature as his ally, but is really kind of a selfish little guy who is as much of a thief and mischief maker as anything else. My druid plays mean little tricks on people, steals when he can, and basically just goes about his way entertaining himself. Sure, he'll help people out if it looks like it's interesting, but he doesn't have any particular moral obligation to do so. He treats possessions much like a crow or squirrel would - he'll liberate anything that looks interesting and hide it away for later, but might forget about it. He won't care *at all* if he loses something, because there's always more interesting stuff all around him for the taking. Personal possessions don't mean much.

  • Matt Hayes Reply

    Everyone else has covered the bits about gear and lvl. I want address a couple other things that newbies should know entering PVP: 1) Know your class This is one is pretty common sense but if you aren't familiar with your classes mechanics and skills you are going to suck. So spend time getting familiar with your class and getting comfortable playing it. Ideally you should have your rotations and skills down to muscle memory so that you can focus on player the other player(s). I'm sure you already know this but you know it's worth throwing in there. 2) Play For Points First and foremost guild wars 2 pvp is about point capture. It's not about winning 1v1s. It's not about winning team fights it's about capping and holding points. Obviously you will want to win fights and stuff but that doesn't take precedence to the point capture. Alot of new pvpers will sometimes squirrel off to chase that annoying thief and as a result leave their point wide open (don't do this). Play smart even if it means disengaging from fights. I'll go more into detail regarding this later (probably when I get home) Also it only takes one person to cap a point. It doesn't not speed up the process. So if someone else is capping a point with you and there are no enemies coming LEAVE IT. This is never explained in game but super important for new pvpers to know. 3) Roles in PVP Now pvp like every game mode has roles to fill. You have your team fighters (dps), support, tank, and roamers. And hybrids of them. When making your pvp build you want to look at the role you want to fill and optimize your build for that role as much as possible. Some classes are better at certain roles that others. Some classes fill roles about equally just with different trade-offs. For example thief and mesmer are both considered strong roamers. Thief has the best mobility making it better at +1ing fights and decapping points. Mesmer has less mobility but better 1v1 potential as well as general mesmer shenanigans (i.e. portal and moa) 4) Map Awareness Practice looking at your mini map. Map awareness is one of the most important things in pvp. Who has what points? Who's fighting where? Say the thief was in the mid fight and then he disappeared. Odds are he's going to try and decap a point. 5) ranked vs unranked I saw you concerned about entering unranked and people getting mad at you. Truth is people often use unranked when they want to test builds and/or not play seriously so I wouldn't worry too much. Some people might get mad at you but ignore them. They are usually bads who can't make it in ranked (or are just generally toxic people) I will say it is the off season so there are a lot less serious players (Even tho they usually stay in ranked). However because of this ranked queues are stupid long leading more pro players to play in unranked. So if you get rofl-stomped towards the beginning don't worry about it. You mmr is really volatile so you probably got match against higher mmr players. After enough games it should mellow out due to the game losing your mmr. Lastly go to dueling servers. There are usually alot of decent duelers there who might even be willing to give you pointers regarding mechanics and stuff.

  • Friedrich Beahan Reply

    make things inconvenient for a thief. They have no idea when you'll be back, so they're likely going to hit the obvious places (i.e. bedroom for jewellery) and then get out of there ASAP. If you squirrel things away in inconspicuous locations, the chances of them being stolen are probably going to be a little lower. insure valuables and keep all receipts! it'll make the insurance claims a lot easier IF you happen to need to submit a claim (which I hope anyone has to do).

  • Darryl Dicki Reply

    It was once said that you should never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. The Master Thief Rosseau contemplated this as he watched a dummy squirrel activate one of his tripwires, activating one of his laser security systems, annihilating it. He still had not located this mystery burglar. The man was either very skilled or very lucky. Right now, he was leaning towards the 'skilled' side of things. ...At the same time, he pitied the man who tried to break into his mansion. Didn't go under his name, of course, but he acted as 'Master Claude', the teenage heir to an ill-begotten fortune. Ill-begotten as his parents' fate, anyways. He had taken to that role like a fish to water, adding very quickly to this fortune. He took out a deck of cards and began shuffling them. The doorbell rang. Louder than most houses, you probably could hear it on the next one over... if there was one. He owned all the land on the block. Pulled out the top card. A queen. The sound startled a bird flew, which out of a tree and was decimated by the aerial defense. Rosseau watched the security cameras. ...There was a figure. Not wearing all black, just sort of what you'd expect from someone who had to watch their kids on Halloween. But the figure looked a mite on the short side for a parent. He disabled the security system. Better just talk this person off. - The thief walked to his door, a clipboard in hand. Audrey was a part time charity volunteer, part time burglar. She liked to consider herself a Robin Hood of sorts, except that she was one of the poor ones Robin Hood gave to and likely wouldn't eat dinner if she didn't steal. Gun in her pocket. The mansion had stones in the front, so she could likely just toss them at a window to break it. But first... She rang the doorbell. A kid, probably around her age. Maybe one or two years younger. French, with an incredibly serious expression. "Dad says I'm not supposed to give strangers money." Was the first thing he said. Audrey shrugged. "Really? Let me tell you about our charity..." She could have sworn she saw the boy *snort.* Well. That was just rude. What was a... 15-something year old doing answering the door at 2 in the morning anyways? "I'm still not supposed to give money to strangers, Miss." "Aw, are you sure?" "I'm su-" Master thief he may have been, but master martial artist he was not. He never saw the fist coming. - "Ohgodohgod i just punched a kid out." Audrey was not aware of any of Rosseau's previous monologues, and was wondering what to do with the unconscious figure. ...Drag him into his house and make him think it was a dream? There was blood leaking out of his nose, sure, but maybe if he woke up in his bed he would ignore it. So she started dragging him inside. - Computers beeped in another room. A female robotic voice called out. "Body recognized as Master Rosseau's. Disabling security systems..." - The search for bedrooms was rather peaceful. If only the place wasn't so *big.* She opened a door... nope. Kitchen. Nope. Living room. Nope. Gigantic ass dining hall? Nope. Then there was a locked door. Probably something important. Which was likely why she tried to force it open. "Requires Master Rosseau's handprint." Internally, she had to wonder what kind of idiot would name their kid Rosseau, but that was beside the point. She looked at the guy, now murmuring in his sleep. "...imma master thief..." Hah. What a strange dream for such a rich kid. She lifted his hand to the plate. She wasn't prepared at all for the inside. It seemed to radiate a golden light, jewelry piled up haphazardly onto tables -and was that a yacht on an indoor pool- random open safes with jeweled necklaces and bracelets hanging off the safe, and... a photo album. She opened it. Wow, this kid had connections. Was that him in the Louvre? There he was, taking a selfie in Fort Knox. Another one where he picked up the Hope Diamond. ...Wasn't that missing? Well, whatever. The child stirred. Not enough time to keep looking, she supposed. ...Well, if she wasn't coming back, she might as well take a few souvenirs... --- "Fuck." The Master Thief cursed as a note fell off his face. He rubbed his eyes and saw blood on his hands. He turned to the note. *IOU one safe of jewels* *sorry about the nose, by the way.* Well, in truth it wasn't really the thief that took him down. Just another consequence of coincidence and karma. ...He'd have to prepare better next time - A/N: Meh. It's not my favorite. I guess I really can only write reality fiction. Obligatory: - He managed to catch the violent lady leaving the house, having moved the contents of one of his safes into a bag. He would have to let her go, just this once. She had left with her own spoils of war: Enough to get her through the next 3 years... ...and a master thief's heart.

  • Enid Abernathy Reply

    He's just distracting you so the other squirrel can steal your wallet. Taking after those little thief monkeys I'm sure.

  • River Mann Reply

    "VRUDASH BACK!!!!" "Oh for f.... Hello Vrudash. Good to see you aga.. *WIPE YOUR GODS DAMNED BOOTS OFF BEFORE YOU COME IN AT LEAST PLEASE???*" "WAAT? OH. Oh. Vrudash sorry. Goblin Blood and guts kind of stick to Vrudash boots." "I know. I know it does. Every damn time you go dungeon raiding with your friends you end up covered in stuff. Just.. ugh.. good lord, I think you have some guts stuck in your dredlocks too..." "VRUDASH DOZZ?? AW.. DAMMIT VRUDASH JUST GET HAIR DONE LAST WEEK TO.. EERRK... WAT.. WAT DIS??" "Looks like an Eyestalk. You .. kill a Beholder?" "URR.. ME THINK SO? BIG FLOATY THING WITH BUNCH OF EYES?" "Yeah. That's a Beholder." "YAH YAH. ME STOMP LIKE.. FOUR OF THEM." "... You killed four Beholders? In one Adventure?" "YAH." "... Honestly, Vru, for you thats a bit lacking. Just four?" "SHUDDUP. VRUDASH HAVE COLD. SLOW DOWN. WAS ON STOOPID COLD MEDICINE. GROGGY AND STUFF. Anyways.. me bring stuff..." *The sounds of a sack being emptied of random jewels, coins, knicknacks, the sound of a goat hitting the counter and running for the exit in fear..* "... Oookay. Lets see what we got. Some gold Ruritanian coins.. some mixed gold and silver Styginian coins. I can change those into the Kings Crowns for you. Usual exchange rate..." "VRUDASH COOL WIT DAT. EXCHANGE RATE IS STILL BETTER THAN WELLS FARGO." "Yeah. C'mon, I'm not a common thief here... hmmm.. some +1 Longswords.. a couple of +2 Daggers... Oh hey! Nice! A Grouthanian Spellbook!" "WAT? OH THAT. YAH... UM.. THAT NOT REALLY FOR SALE UH.." "You sure? I know your no magic user and these things are... well they are kinda expensive." "... reeellie?? Dat good???" "Oh yeah! Absolutely.. lets take a look.. Hmm.. Orgeskin binding. Grouthanian Parchment. Hmmm.. Mithirillium Alloy padlock.. looks smashed but I know someone who could probably repair it. The pages look silver edged too. Very nice quality I... wait a second." "... Um.. wat?" "... Someone drew a bunch of pictures of big, green half-orc dicks over these spells..." "Um.." "Big. Thick. Veiny green half-orc dicks. On EVERY PAGE." "Yeahhh 'bout dat.. I uhh.." "BIG. GREEN DICKS. EVERYWHERE. I mean, I turn a page. BOOM. BIG GREEN DICK." "VRUDASH FOUND BOOK LIKE DAT." "In Crayon. CRAYON. Vrudash, did you .. no. You know what. I don't even care. Ugh. I'll give you 2 gold crowns for it." "WAT. BUT.." "The crayon ruined the spells. If I wipe off the crayon I ruin the spells. This spellbook is almost completely useless. 2 crowns. Keep arguing and it'll be 1. And don't bother telling me you'll shop around. No one will take this, and the Guild of Wizards will just nuke your big moss-colored ass to oblivion for what you've done to this.." ".... Vrudash get 3 crowns in Trade in value instead?" ".... You're an bastard, Vrudash. You're a complete bastard. I'll give you 2 gold crowns in store credit and a small bag of hot salted squirrel-chunks." "OOO SQUIRREL CHUNKS TASTY. DEAL."

  • Angel Rogahn Reply

    Go to the mighty mice trade city of Old Pinerot. If you're a mouse, rat (Will be checked for signs of plague), vole, or squirrel you'll be let in. It has the largest and richest market in the world. Exotic creatures from far away kingdoms, new clothes, slaves, spices, artifacts, and perhaps performances will be shown. Just don't be a thief or you will be executed, even if it's over a very small item. You'll probably travel on foot in a small group from the nearby mice villages, or all the way from Haven Root. You'd be lucky if you can hire some guards to accompany you. Rats will most likely come from one of the 12 plague colonies. Probably trying to escape the many skirmishes between the Warlord Rat kings. Voles come from their surviving subterranean burrow forts. And one is right next door. While squirrels live in a smaller city in the treetops.

  • Franz Lueilwitz Reply

    As I said, I hit a snag. How should young Harry act? My knowledge of small children is non-existent. So I searched FFN, but the results where crap. So reddit to the rescue, but there were so many threads.... I ended up spending a pleasant afternoon filling in spreadsheets because I'm a weirdo who does that sort of thing for fun. The rest of the recs (with at least 2 upvotes, ordered high to low, ones I know to be fluffy in **bold**, ones I know not to be in *italic*): **Harry Potter and the Most Electrifying Man, SSVD** *Odd Ideas, Rorschach's Blot* *The Denarian Renegade, Shezza* James Castle, Bouncing Soul **A Marauder's Plan, CatsAreCool** **Growing Up Kneazle, Manatocfox** **To the Waters and the Wild, Paimpont** *Saving Connor, Lightning on the Wave* *Harveste, kyaru-chan* The Snow Queen, Darklooshkin Vanishing Illusions, Trelawney's Love Toy A Deal Made in Good Faith, sakurademonalchemist Blue Magic, Tellur Fate's Gamble, Lupine Horror *A Fallen God, Hostiel* Knowledge is Power, Nkari127 Disbelief, Corneille Midnight Guardian, ksomm814 My Nephew Harry, Lucillia Wishcraft, Taint of Taia With Strength of Steel Wings, AngelaStarCat *Culture Shock, Ruskbyte* Divine Words, klassekatze Luna's Hubby, Meteoricshipyards The Reclamation of Black Magic, ShayaLonnie *The Thief of Hogwarts, bluminous8* The Wizard of Gotham, Skysaber **Harry Potter and the Invincible TechnoMage, Clell65619** A Different Beginning, Devy Black A Lonely Path, la baguette Lost: Small Boy, Answers to Harry, Tawa bids you good day Season of Change, Branchwraith With a Forked Tongue I Lie in Wait (Taming Snakes), DelusionalGrandeur **Home, lumos-aeternum** A Twist of Fate, Emcee Frodis Harry's Cousins, speculating *The Counterfeit Cousin, Tsume Yuki* The Butterfly Effect, CaspianAlexander *The Katarn Side, Darth Marrs* *The Happy Red Prince, LT2000* Grimm: A Fairy's Tale, Krahae Sitra Ahra, Voice of the Nephilim The Inner Eye of Harry Potter, jbern Torn, Neurotica Me and Myself, The Funny Idiot *Wand, Knife and Silence, TheGirlWithFarTooManyIdeas* Black Vengeance, Teufel1987 Harry Potter and the Mantle of the Dark Knight, Baronvonblack **the family evans, dirgewithoutmusic** Harry amidst the Vaults of Stone, NothingPretentious Storm of Yesterday, ShayaLonnie A Necessary Gift: A Harry Potter Story, cosette-aimee Enter the Dragon, Doghead Thirteen Full Circle, Crazy Mishka Harry Potter and the Sun Source, Clell65619 *Mastermind Hunting, Louis IX* *The Pureblood Pretense, murkybluematter* Truths, Neurotica *Harry Crow, robst* Like Brothers, Colubrina Mysterious Thing, Time, Blueowl The name is Potter Black!, PadyandMoony be brave, tigriswolf Family Values, Ishtar **In Which Sirius Can't Tell a Story to Save His Life, SilverWolf7007** *Perfect Slytherins, jeconais* Second Life, Nia River The Accidental Animagus, White Squirrel The Best Revenge, Arsinoe de Blassenville Kid, evansentranced The Wishmaster, lokilette What We're Fighting For, James Spookie A Different Halloween, robst Everything I do, Tiger Lily Roar The Fourth Champion, James Spookie The Paths Diverge, Vaneria Potter The Return of the Marauders, TheLastZion A Life Alone, Snuffdragon All Through the Night, Bloodpage-Alchemist Beyond the Darkness: The Early Years, Orion Scorpio Blood Crest, Cauchy Blood is not family, Arawn D. Draven Blood Magic, GatewayGirl Bound by Blood, TheNefariousMe Death, Destroyer of Worlds, Lady FoxFire Enveloped in the Darkness, Brigade First day of classes, PadyandMoony Flashback, Amiable Dorsai French Twist, GinnyMyLove *Harry Potter and the Boy Who Lived, The Santi* Harry Potter and the Four Heirs, Sinyk Harry Potter and the World Beneath, Tellemicus Sundance Harry's New Home, kbinnz **House of Snakes, flitterflutterfly** HP: Raised by the Tonks', RedKross *Isis' bane: Tar'Chell's Wrath, althor42* It's Never Too Late for a Happy Childhood, Antigone Q Just a Random Tuesday…, Twisted Biscuit Master of Death, Violet-san My Son the Wizard, savya398 Oblivion, ChaosEmperorNex Scenes From Another Life, Atalan Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum, Irish216 Sticks, Stones and Broken Bones, Littleforest Take Care Of Yourself, NothingPretentious Taking Care of Myself, sara ane The Chronicle, fringeperson **The Extra Weasley, Triscribe** The Promise, ZairaAlbereo *The Substitute, BajaB* The Taste Of Your Magic, Annoy mouse The Wishmaster, lokilette *Time to Put Your Galleons Where Your Mouth Is, Tsume Yuki* To Recollect the Future, oliver.snape Two Princes of Slytherin, Ky II A Fairy Tale Ending, BJH A Different Beginning, Breanie Harry Dursley and The Chronicles of the King, Shadenight123 The Phantom of Hogwarts, nas-iiN A Series of Crazy Random Happenstances, Joshua Coffin A Study in Magic, Vixit A Surreal Tale, E. M. Pink Against the World, Balmorhea Another Prisoner, Another Professor, Maurauder Black Sky, Umei no Mai Common Woodbrown, imochan Darkness Ascendant: A Harry Potter Adventure, Cole Pascal Deal with a Devil, Silently Watches Dimension Hopping for Beginners, nonjon Divergence, ness frost *Emperor, Marquis Black* Extended Family, Setcheti Family Ties, TheMalhamBird **Fates Be Changed, The Homing Pigeon** Gods and Monsters, reaperlight Growing Up Malfoy, kira66 Hard Wrought Joy, Summer Leigh Wind Harry and his grandparents, nashpar Harry Potter & the Soulmate Bond, Keira Marcos *Harry Potter and the Maw, WoMo* Harsh Reality, Duochanfan **In Search of Companionship, Inevitably Insane** Jamie Evans and Fate's Fool, The Mad Mad Reviewer Kit and Kin, AMarguerite Lily fixes a mistake, severusphoenix Lord Voldemort and the Intricate Plots, Cauchy Mother Malfoy, RavenclawSlytherinQueen Never Say Remember, Malora Of Western Stars, neutral One Day in McGonagall's Dotage, Mike [FP] One Whole Star, TheAmazonZiti Orders To A Phoenix, reaperlight *Potter vs Paradox, Belial666* Prophecies? We Don't Need No Stinking Prophecies!, Greywizard **Son Of The Champion, sar_kaz_m** The Best Laid Plans, Rumour of an Alchemist The Dungeon Books, MoonTiger5 The Family He Deserves, Lady Elizabeth of New York (FFN) The Puir Laddie Who Lived, fojee The Rise of Cyrodiil (REWRITE), DarthImperius Too Young to Die, thebombhasbeenplanted Unspeakable Things, Darth Marrs Walkabout, fringeperson Wisdom of a seer, kalinzar

  • Otho Gibson Reply

    In addition to the market habaneros, i harvested all of my hots and superhots to dehydrate for chili flakes. Bonus shots of my red habanero seed stock (the ripest I had) and of the victims of a skunk or squirrel, a couple of cukes and an orange hab. I think the thief learned a hard lesson about stealing hot peppers.

  • Eduardo Carroll Reply

    He is still trying to figure out whose a good boy... Lol, he is an unrepentant food thief. He has even stooped to eating the seed out of the bird feeder. He is in league with a squirrel...

  • Joel Gottlieb Reply

    They're characters that do fundamentally the same thing, though: poke fun at superheroes. Deadpool is amoral fourth-wall breaking zaniness. The MCU Ant-Man is a mediocre thief who has terrible instincts at superheroics. Squirrel Girl is ridiculously overpowered, despite having the most underwhelming powers and presence imaginable. And just because they're kid-friendly doesn't mean they're inherently bad. I love the current SG series, it's packed with more jokes than almost every other comic on the market right now. And in the MCU, Ant-Man is probably the most kid-friendly film that Marvel Studios has made thus far.

  • Arlene Harvey Reply

    Squirrel, definitely, because that huge thing doesn't look very agile, but the raccoon, I feel like he's supposed to be big and fat like a thief.

  • Rossie Stoltenberg Reply

    >Found the optimist ~~thief~~ trans-dimensional clover-absorbing squirrel monster.

  • Imani Collier Reply

    I think I'm lVl 4, it's exactly like you said , tend to get overconfident and squirrel chase some thief all the way across the map to be takend down by a group >.<

  • Dejon Metz Reply

    >Which race is best? Only humans and Half-Elves can be Druids, and both have very lackluster racial benefits. Half-elves gets 30% charm and sleep resistance, but that's about it. >Does dual class trump everything else? Not at all. At the absolute top tier of classes you will definitely find some, such as Kensai/Mages, but you will also find single classes such as Sorcerers and multi-classes such as Fighter/Thief/Mages. >Which weapon proficiencies are the most useful? Druids doesn't melee a whole lot. I'd get Slings for BG1 and Daggers/Darts for throwing weapons in BG2. >Are there any minimum stats to aim for so that I don't accidentally gimp myself? You'll want 18 WIS for bonus spells, 16 CON for +2 hit points per level and 18 DEX for 4 better Armor Class, so go for a 10/18/16/10/18/10 if you can (87 roll) and you'll definitely not be gimped. If you can't get 87, drop some Dex, but not below 16 since the AC bonus starts at 15. But 87 isn't that difficult to roll. >Any other hints and tips for a new player would also be much appreciated. Thanks in advance! Well, don't play a Druid would be my first tip. Divine casting (clerics, druids) are a bit lackluster in general and mostly used in specific situations. And unlike Clerics, they don't have the armor and buff spells to turn into a semi-warrior, nor the disabling spells that makes Clerics amazing in the early game. In fact, druids are probably the worst class in BG1. Second, and pretty counter-intuitive tip - don't care too much about your main character. You'll end up with 6 characters to play, so your main isn't all that important. You could literally replace your main character with a squirrel and still beat the game without a problem. Save often. Always bring a Thief for traps and locks. Disable spells are often better than damaging spells, especially in BG1. Command, Horror, Sleep, Hold Person, Silence '15 Radius, Web can all do wonders. Healing in combat is pretty slow and vulnerable. It's not played like an MMO with tanks, damages and healers, etc. Potions, wands and special range ammunition can all be extremely good. Don't overlook them. Really, there are tons of things to say, but first and foremost I'd just want to give you the tip to just play it and learn from it. Figuring out things about it and learning things about it is the thing that makes it such a blast. You could read up on a guide to the perfect class and how to beat every encounter and beat the game that way, but it'd just be a waste of time. Set out with your own fun, lackluster party and die to everything and learn and become stronger to the point that you can solo the game with every class - not that's where the fun of the game is.

  • Delphia Dickens Reply

    Touching the cold stone behind him, Cody found himself cornered. The Balrog loomed towards him with globs of drool falling to the ground. Nick, his minotaur friend jumped on the back of the creature. Nick stabbed it several times, only to have the creature shake him off and step on his chest. "It was 10 damage, you're incapacitated now," Stephen said. Stephen looks up from his notebook and grabs a handful of trail mix. "Are you serious?" Nick said, "This is an awful encounter. We're getting killed left and right." "Well maybe you guys should've ran away." "Come on you can't punish us. This is dumb, my minotaur was a badass." Elissa raised her hand, "It's my turn right? I'll heal Nick." Nick high fived her, "Yeah we're gonna fuck you up Stephen." Stephen shrugged and speak through clumps of trail mix, "You rolled a critical failure. You cast the wrong spell and instead damage Nick." "No way let me see that roll," Nick and Stephen argued about the legitimacy of the roll, the dice landed on the floor instead of the table. Cody looked at his character sheet, just a lowly thief. He only joined this campaign two sessions ago and he was about to be murdered. Character creation was a thirty minute headache and he wanted to avoid that. With this thief, still corned by the Balrog he said, "I'll take out my shortsword and I'll stab the Balrog's eyes," and as Stephen chucked the dice, a squirrel leaped through window and caught them. "He's pretty cute," Elissa said. The squirrel stared at Cody and rolled the dice. A natural twenty. Nick jumped up, "In your face!" "I don't know if that counts," "Of course it does, a roll is a roll." While they argued, the squirrel picked up the a bowl of trail mix. He held it over his head and made eye contact with everyone. Then he dashed off through the window.

  • Brando Durgan Reply

    - - - - - - - ELLINGTON DEFENCE DYNAMICS INC. ROGAZ V.I - - - - - - - - - - reboot_initiate STACK_ >>**"pLEASE REFRAIN FR0M sampling tHE MINORITY and the DRIVERR."** **andytOAT NOTAble EGG-THIEF. it thanks this one FOR [urchasing the ELLINGTON ROGAZ RECREATION AND ProtoCOL VIRTUAL INTELLIGENCe uniT. >>EGG WHISk appendu not RecogniseD. PLEase re-insert the requisite appendu and reboot >>ELLINGFAFF OS detecTED V.1.2.2 - client boot_ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *The empty family sized can of Horsebeans serving as Rogaz's head lurches forward and the array of SAMPO EVE Fairy Light diodes arranged in the shape of a pair of eyes blink and then sustain in vivid flittering colours. Finally the primitive AUDIOPHONE voicebox crackles into life* [ ^^^iiiiiiii CXatnip? Sprou..... test ........ test ....... one ..... one ^^^iiiiiiii ] [ G00d day and thank you for purchasing the ELLINGTON DEFENCE DYNAMICS INC. ROGAZ V.I chip. Compatibility checks are now complete. ] Gah! Meister GreenTheSnapper as I live and breathe! Wonderful to see you again Sir. Eeee! And your leg grew back too! Wonderous. Such a feminine leg. RELTNA will be so pleased. A party...A party, we shall have us a party; bear with.... *The sound of metal clattering against metal can be heard from within the rusted refrigerator serving as Rogaz's carapace. A spindle-like arm pulls the stiff hinged door open and the 5 elongated clasps snatch up a handfull of treats which the droid duly presents to you: A brace of Partially Hydrogenated Meat Free Curds; a cluster of Colourblind Vent Squirrel tails, 2 dozen steel washers, a comb and a torn photograph depicting the lower half of a well known celebrity FAFF.* Dig in!.........RELTNA? *The servo motors connected to the quartered shower rail appendage standing in for a neck turn Rogaz's visual receptor nodes in a wide arc, examining the room in detail* Where exactly is RELTNA my dear boy?

  • Pat Kassulke Reply

    I'm in the minority, but I always preferred GURPs. You could take the characters you made on much more varied adventures, and could have a more versatile set of skills. Character creation is points-based. To get points, you take "disadvantages" you have to play or the GM can take them away. And you can spend the points on whatever skills you like. So you could be a magic-using thief. Or a wizard who could sword wield. An example of a disadvantage would be minor delusion (character must turn around three times before bed) or major delusion (squirrels are messengers from the gods and you must chase down each squirrel you see.) The book suggested GMs could mess with parties by making the major delusions TRUE. You'd still get the points, because people would still have a really negative reaction to you. We had a group of characters we took through fantasy, space, future, and something else I forget. It's been a really long time.

  • Ilene Kunde Reply

    The one thing I will say for noisy car alarms is that they can startle the thief and scare them off before the owner has the chance to get out to their car. It would suck if an alarm went off on my phone and by the time I got outside my car was gone. I think the car alarms are meant to be your car screaming for help, not necessarily just alerting the owner. But you know, it would be nice if they could be calibrated to tell the difference between someone trying to force their way in, and a fucking squirrel running across the hood.

  • Sonia Morar Reply

    It was dark tonight, as it always was in the Undercity. Dark and damp and cold. No torches lit the stony city market at this hour. Only the dim, speckled light from a constellation of glowworms that clung to the ceiling gave any illumination at all, only showing the faintest outline of the walls and floor. It was only here, in the darkest hours of the night, that I felt truly alive. Corridors flew past as I ran, the echo of my feet pattering against the stone only as loud as a rat's as I made my way through the cloud of darkness to the more populated sectors of the city. It wasn't so bad, the life of a thief way down here in the blackness. Sure, I didn't have enough money for bread most of the time, but I like to think that the thrill of the hunt makes up for it. I slowed my pace as a watchman's torch lit an adjacent archway, making the stone glow as if fresh from a forge. I pressed my back against the cool stone, knowing that he would not appreciate my presence here. My rags were most unwelcome near the merchant's homes. Thankfully, his strength was his weakness: Blinded by the torch in his hands, he overlooked the quiet girl in grey that hid just outside the circle of light. The foolish men in their luxurious mansions thought that there was no way to move about without carrying a lantern or a torch, but years of running these tunnels had taught me that sound and touch were just as reliable as sight. And so the darkness was my friend, hiding me from my enemies as surely as any shield. Once his flame was little more than a pinprick down the hall, I stood again and continued to picked my way towards the residential sector. I was careful to avoid the richest houses - with their sturdy locks and permanent guards, there was no way to safely access their coffers - but rumor whispered that one of the more *nouveau riche* merchants had moved his entire fortune to a room just beside the one in which he slept, and had yet to hire a guard. Rumors ran thick and heavy through the darkness in the thieves' hideouts, but the hunger that gnawed at my stomach made this one seemed credible enough to chance. With luck, it would prove true, and I would have enough to squirrel away for a month's worth of steady meals or more. Suddenly the tunnel widened into a large, rounded chamber, with an arched ceiling that reminded me of nothing more than a badger's den. The walls were pockmarked with archways, black on grey in the dark, and within them I could almost pick out the breathing of men and women asleep in their beds. Wooden scaffolding, spiraling around the chamber like a corkscrew, gave access to the doors higher up. Only the richest merchants and lesser royalty could afford the highest rooms, with their vaulted ceilings and spacious floor plans. And so, careful not to step anywhere that might creak and betray my trespass, I began the lonesome climb to the top. It was not an easy path. Though it started out rather shallow, on account of the low ceilings of the peasant's dens, the ramp grew more and more steep the higher it climbed. It was arduous work, especially on an empty stomach. Twice, I had to duck off the side of the deck as a watchman passed by with a torch, clinging to the railing with only my fingertips. Once they passed, turning into the many tunnels that branched off to other parts of the compound, I was free to pull myself up once more and continue on my way. *One...two...three doors up from the red board.* I counted silently, reciting the rumor I had heard. The door was thick and cedar, far too strong to be broken down. *But no problem for me.* I thought, pulling out the thin wire I used to pick locks. With a final glance around for any guards I may have missed, I set to work on the door. With a satisfying *pop*, it sprung open, sliding silently on well-oiled hinges. Careful to close it behind me, I stepped inside and into true darkness. *It's a pity I can't see this place lit up.* I mused. *Judging by all the perfume, it is probably quite a sight.* Thick carpeting sank between my toes as I crept through the house, quieting my footsteps as well as any cloth. The sound of breathing echoed around the chamber, the heavy, labored breaths of a man rotund with wealth punctuated by the occasional snore played a duet with his wife's more quiet tones. I suppressed a laugh as a particularly loud one made his cheeks flutter as if he were blowing a library, and felt along the wall until my hands met steel. *Aha!* I thought. Triumphantly, I placed my ear against the coldness of the safe, metal cold against my cheek. Deftly, I turned the lock, listening for the telltale clicks that meant I had reached the correct combination. With a dull creak, the safe popped open and I reached inside. "What the hell are you doing here!?" Cried a voice from right behind my head. Suddenly, I was blinded as a lantern was unshuttered, spreading a curtain of yellow light throughout the room. "You're coming with me, little lady! Let's see what a few years in jail does about those thieving little fingers, shall we?" The merchant wrapped his sausage-like hand around my wrists with enough force to make me cry out. I dropped my heel on his foot, simultaneously whacking him in the side of the face with my elbow and breaking his grip in one fluid motion. By the time he recovered, I was already at the door and pushing my way through - but it was too late. "Thief! Thief!" He roared, barreling after me like a deranged bull. Dozens of torches, both above and below, suddenly lit the entire chamber with orange light. Just before they reached me, I leapt, dropping down to the floor below. Scampering away from the yells, I ducked down a passage I had never seen before and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. As quick as my feet were, I was no match for the guards. Their calls echoed down the hall, alerting more and more men to my fleeing form. Twice, I had to turn down a side passage, backpedaling to avoid a fresh wave of guards. Suddenly, I recognized where I was. *The farming district! If only I can get outside, I can hide in the woods until they go away, or sneak back in another way!* Thankful for my luck, I rushed towards one of the sturdy metal doors and quickly began to unlock it with my pick. "No, stop!" A hand leapt out of the darkness by my waist and gripped my ankle, startling me enough to nearly drop the wire. A boy with sandy hair, nearly my own age, pulled me away from the door. "It's daylight now, you can't go out there! The sun is out, it will burn you alive!" "Let me go, you idiot!" I yelled, kicking his hand away. My mind worked furiously, trying to think of another way. *Daylight! But I thought I had a few hours left!* Before I could decide if it was worth risking the door, the guards were upon me. "We have you now, girl. Come easy, and we won't have to hurt you." Frustrated, hungry, and with feet bloodied by the stone, I was led back down the passage that I had just fled, manacles heavy around my wrists. *** *This is actually a prequel to something I wrote before, which can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/4rjyx2/otwriting_workshop_34_breaking_your_barriers_8/d51ypp4). CC appreciated, and if you enjoyed the read you can find more of my work at /r/TimeSyncs!*

  • Wellington Halvorson Reply

    You didn't mention the Shadowmoor filterlands. They're probably better than the checks. There's also the Tainted cycle from Torment - enter untapped but only make colored mana if you have a swamp. I'd put them pretty far down the list but they're not bad at all. BFZ duals: you don't want to draw these, you want to fetch them EOT, with the option to fetch an ABUR dual or shock if you need the mana right away. Probably not worth it in most decks though. Scars fastlands: I could see running these in a deck that doesn't really care that much about lands 4+. I'm just gonna list a bunch. Most probably aren't worthwhile, but they're at least interesting. [[Bojuka Bog]] - uncounterable grave hate. Sorcery speed hurts, but it can still come in handy. [[Hanweir Battlements]] - enters untapped and grants haste, which is pretty good. It melds with a pretty decent token maker, but I don't think that's relevant in competitive or even casual. [[Geier Reach Sanitarium]] - I could see a lot of decks wanting this for late-game shenanigans. It's brutal with Notion Thief and/or Waste Not. [[Volrath's Stronghold]] - Any graveyard deck should consider this. [[Inkmoth Nexus]] - I got killed by an Inkmoth carrying multiple swords once. [[Ancient Ziggurat]] - obviously only worthwhile in...well, Animar, pretty much. [[Rishadan Port]] - a lot worse in multiplayer, but it's at least something to think about. [[Tower of the Magistrate]] - very niche, mostly useful to shut off equipment. When it's good it's really good, though. [[Kor Haven]] - Generally worse than Maze (doesn't even combo with Argothian Elder) but it does make mana. [[Alchemist's Refuge]] - flash is awesome, I run this in just about any UGx deck. The ability to flash in a combo piece EOT is generally worth the colorless slot. [[Winding Canyons]] - worse than Refuge, but colorless identity. [[Vesuva]] - ETB tapped absolutely sucks, but the chance to copy a Coffers or Cradle can be worth it. Meta-dependent I guess. [[Thespian Stage]] - Much better than Vesuva in most cases imo. [[Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle]] - I know there's not a competitive Scapeshift deck, but maybe someday... [[Untaidake, the Cloud Keeper]] - 99% of decks won't want this, but if you need colorless mana to cast a legend it does offer acceleration. [[Unholy Grotto]] - Very niche, but more efficient than Volrath's Stronghold. If nothing else Sidisi 2.0 is a zombie. [[Swarmyard]] - this is just waiting for a playable Insect, Rat, Spider, or Squirrel commander! Although Mazirek is an insect. [[Springjack Pasture]] - makes chumps that can store up mana. [[Soldevi Excavations]] - saccing an island hurts, but it taps for 2 (good with untap effects) and can scry. [[Slayer's Stronghold]] - Haste is really good [[Shizo, Death's Storehouse]] - The legendary requirement really limits its use but there's not much cost to running it since it enters untapped and makes colored mana. [[Sea Gate Wreckage]] - the colorless activation cost and hellbent requirement make this a very niche card, but it does have my three favorite words on it. [[Scrying Sheets]] - I would only run this in a mono-color deck with a very high basic count, but in longer games it has value and such a deck can spare the colorless slot. [[Scorched Ruins]] - tapping for 4 the turn it comes down is powerful enough to merit consideration even with the major drawback. [Rix Maadi, Dungeon Palace]] - repeatable symmetric discard is a strong effect. I dunno if there's a deck for this but it's definitely a card worth knowing about. [[River of Tears]] - This is a weird card. A lot of competitive decks run very low land counts so this might just end up being an island but...it exists. [[Riftstone Portal]] - This is a very strange sort of fixing. I can't imagine many decks want it but it's a very unique effect. [[Oboro, Palace in the Clouds]] - in a MLD-heavy meta this might be better than an island. Or if you have landfall synergy. [[Nimbus Maze]] - Honestly I think this is probably better than Glacial Fortress - the fail case is a Waste rather than a Coastal Tower. [[Mutavault]] - between random tribal synergies and the generally decent nature of manlands I'm sure there's a deck that wants this. [[Murmuring Bosk]] - a fetchable tri-land. Enters tapped pretty much always, but...fetchable tri-land. [[Mouth of Ronom]] - you need to be running enough basics to reliably have a snow land in play, and it's not a cheap effect, but an uncounterable instant-speed way to kill most problem creatures is a nice thing to have. [[Madblind Mountain]] - fetchable and good with Top or Scroll Rack. Enters tapped which kinda sucks. [[Kher Keep]] - makes chumps. Purphoros is probably the only deck that cares about this. [[Grim Backwoods]] - expensive, but it's a sac outlet with my favorite words. [[Glimmervoid]] - if you have an insane number of artifacts...you probably don't need this. But it's there for you. Waiting. [[Glacial Chasm]] - a powerful effect at a high cost. [[Ghost Town]] - dodges MLD [[Gemstone Caverns]] - under the right conditions it's acceleration and excellent fixing. Otherwise it's a Wastes. [[Eye of Ugin]] - repeatable tutor + ramp in the right deck. Azusa's definitely interested. [[Eldrazi Temple]] - see above, but not useless if you don't have an eldrazi in hand. [[Dust Bowl]] - repeatable spot LD that doesn't take up a card slot. Any deck running Crucible wants this. [[Duskmantle, House of Shadow]] - hoses topdeck tutors. [[Drownyard Temple]] - Gitrog might want this, or any deck playing MLD. [[Deserted Temple]] - lets you double dip on Cradle or Coffers. [[Dakmor Salvage]] - Insane in Gitrog, probably useless in any other deck. [[Command Beacon]] - insurance against getting taxed out, definitely wanted in some decks.

  • Wilhelmine Kuhic Reply

    [Wants] AvX SR Green Goblin, Gobby AvX SR Wolverine, Canucklehead CW SR Shannon Carter, Captain America of Earth 81223 CW SR Tony Stark, Sorcerer Supreme of Earth 9810 CW SR Venom, Abandoned the Stinger BFF SR Mind Flayer, Epic Humanoid WF SR Batgirl, Babs WF SR Lex Luthor, Ex-Con WF SR Ultraman, Kryptonite-Powered FUS SR Beholder, Epic Aberration FUS SR Bugbear Ambusher, Epic Humanoid FUS SR Deck of Many Things, Epic Magical Object FUS SR Ring, Epic Gear FUS SR Robe of the Archmagi, Epic Magical Gear FUS SR Talisman of Ultimate Evil, Epic Magical Object JLU SR Constantine, Hellblazer AoU SR Captain Universe, Enigma Force AoU SR Groot, We Are Groot AoU SR Thanos, Infinite Promo Dwarf Cleric, Legendary Order of the Gauntlet ASM SR Black Cat, Party Hardy ASM SR Iron Spidey, Armored Arachnid ASM SR Spider-Girl, May Parker Uncanny SR Spider-Man, Superhero WoL SR Starfire, Koriand'r YuGiOh SR The Winged Dragon of Ra, Blaze Cannon (with 1 matching die) [Haves] AvX Rare Cyclops, Scott Summers AvX Rare Doctor Octopus, Mad Scientist AvX Rare Hawkeye, Robin Hood AvX Rare Mr. Fantastic, The Invincible Man CW Promo Squirrel Girl, Kick Butts, Eat Nuts CW Rare Bullseye, I'm Magic CW Rare Captain Marvel, Kree-Powered CW Rare Deathlok, Time Traveler CW Rare Loki, Ice in his Veins CW Rare Luke Cage, Bodyguard CW Rare Moonstone, Hypnotic Suggestion CW Rare Ms. Marvel, Biggest Fan CW Rare Punisher, No Restraint CW Rare Rescue, Pepper CW Rare Speedball, New Warrior CW Rare Taskmaster, Monkey See CW Rare Winter Soldier, Brainwashed BFF Rare Copper Dragon, Paragon Dragon BFF Rare Dracolich, Paragon Undead Dragon BFF Rare Dwarf Cleric, Paragon Lords Alliance BFF Rare Half-Orc Fighter, Paragon Zhentarim BFF Rare Invisible Stalker, Paragon Elemental BFF Rare Kobold, Paragon Humanoid BFF Rare Limited Wish, Paragon Spell BFF Rare Magic Sword, Paragon Gear BFF Rare Manticore, Paragon Beast BFF Rare Pit Fiend, Paragon Fiend BFF Rare Purple Worm, Paragon Beast BFF Rare Skeleton, Paragon Undead BFF Rare Treant, Paragon Beast BFF Rare Unicorn, Paragon Beast BFF Rare Wererat, Paragon Lycanthrope WF Rare Bizarro, Me Am #1! WF Rare Brainiac, Vengeful WF Rare Carmine Falcone, Mob Boss WF Rare Harley Quinn, "Hey Bats!" WF Rare Kal-L, Unmasked Wonder! WF Rare Scarecrow, Hallucinogenic Vapors WF Rare The Joker, Violent Lunatic WF Rare Two-Face, Double Crosser FUS Rare Black Dragon, Paragon Dragon FUS Rare Elf Thief, Paragon Emerald Enclave FUS Rare Erinyes, Paragon Fiend FUS Rare Gelatinous Cube, Paragon Ooze JLU Rare Blue Beetle, High School Hero JLU Rare Vibe, Formerly Hardline ASM Rare Aunt May, Fresh Cookies ASM Rare Rhino, Uncommon Thug UXM Rare Falcon, Air Strike YuGiOh Rare Blade Knight, Last Man Standing YuGiOh Rare Marshmallon, Bites Back YuGiOh Rare Mystical Elf, Protector YuGiOh Rare Obelisk the Tormentor, Fist of Fury YuGiOh Rare Time Wizard, Time Magic Promo Beast, Nefarious Geneticist Promo Belaphoss: The Mad Demon Promo Black Widow, Stinger (ALT) Promo Collateral Damage Promo Cyclops, Phoenix Force Promo Daredevil, Marvel Knight Promo Emma Frost, White Queen Promo Green Dragon, Legendary Dragon Promo Gwen Stacy, Spider-Ally Promo Halfling Thief, Minion Lords Alliance Promo House Of Mystery: Trinity War Promo Lex Luthor: Legion of Doom Promo Lois Lane, DC Bombshell Promo Luke Cage, Power Man (ALT) Promo Martian Manhunter, Trinity War Promo Mary Jane, Spider-Ally Promo Mera, Queen of Atlantis (ALT) Promo Minsc and Boo, "Go for the eyes, Boo!" Promo Nova, Nova Prime Promo Owlbear, Legendary Beast Promo Pandora's Box: Trinity War Promo Phoenix, Dark Phoenix Promo Raven, Rachel Roth Promo Robin, Teen Titans Team Leader Promo Scarecrow: Legion of Doom Promo Scarlet Witch, Avengers Disassembled Promo She-Hulk, Avengers Disassembled Promo Starfire, Powerful Friend Promo Stargirl, DC Bombshell Promo Takedown Promo Thanos, Gauntlet Wielder Promo The Outsider Promo Thor, The Mighty Promo Wolverine, Walking His Own Path Promo Wonder Woman: Trinity War Promo Zombie, Minion Undead Full list of haves with Uncommons at http://www.tradecardsonline.com/user/jigsawhc#lists

  • Claire Nader Reply

    Remember that part where he jumps off a building? Pretend that was the end and cherish the memory. By tomorrow this thread will be loaded to the gills with people talking about prose and world building. Someone might as well take the bullet and speak for the adversary. First off, you mention Kvothe being hyper-competent. I feel you are being too generous. Any misfortune or misstep Kvothe makes is either completely forgotten or Kvothe suffers so little as to make them inconsequential. For instance: * Kvothe becomes a homeless waif. We'll ignore that he forgets he knows sympathy for this entire section of the book. He gets rolled, loses his lute, goes feral and gets stomped by a cop. How does this affect him as a teenager in the following sections of the book? Does he show kindness to homeless children? No, they do not exist in the places he lives. Does he show fear when confronted by groups? No, Malfoy and his cronies are only an object of derision. Does he mistrust figures of authority? Well, he thinks he's smarter than all of them but he certainly doesn't show them much fear or even trepidation when confronting them. How does having experienced the true desperation of being destitute shape his views on money? We get a running tally every other chapter on how many shirts he owns. If the entire Tarbean section was removed, would any reader be able to tell Kvothe was a homeless child for an extended period of time? * Talk shit, get whipped. Even when Kvothe is punished, he is left with faint, silvery scars that are objects of fascination to women and a boost to his reputation for not bleeding all over the place like some pleb. As with everything, any mild inconvenience to Kvothe is somehow turned to his advantage. * Racism. With Kvothe being part of an ethnicity that is basically modeled on the Roma sans poverty, one would expect him to clash with non-Ruh people. Oddly, he only experiences racism from two characters that already dislike him, who imply he is a thief. Despite coming from a middle class background and despite being a student at the world's most prestigious university, while being able to afford room and board, meals and clothing, Kvothe is a thief. He experiences no threats of racially motivated violence, no actual discrimination - just a couple guys calling him a thieving lowlife as a means of busting his balls. * Set upon by brigands. When Kvothe gets cornered by Abrose's goons, he naturally sets fire to their person. The rumors of this encounter run wild immediately, of course, inflating Kvothe's reputation and signaling him as someone not to be fucked with in the criminal underground. Having been warned of the consequences of malfeasance and previously whipped for the same, is Kvothe worried about the Masters hearing about this incident? Why would he? Nothing Kvothe does has long lasting consequences. I'm not going to go too nuts with further complaints, as this is long enough already. I've got a few, though. Kvothe's friends exist solely to reflect how wonderful Kvothe is. Sim and Willem could be the same person, given how generic they are. Fela is the eye rolling hot chick in high school that was, like, totally into me but I was too oblivious - just a cringe inducingly bad characterization. Manet spends his time posting horrifically autistic advice on /r/relationships and /r/sex. Auri is some eldritch abomination that crossed a squirrel and a mentally challenged woman who exists solely to show Kvothe as altruistic. And Denna. Denna's the only character in the series with their own agency. She sees Kvothe for the goony misanthrope he is right away and friend zone's him immediately. I love the sections where Kvothe laments about never being able to find Denna when he looks for her. Dude, she saw you coming and three-parted her ass out of there. I'll give you people a break, so that it all I've got for now.

  • Rocky Denesik Reply

    Pretty much all heroes are 'viable' for like 90% of the content, and even in the later stages its just a matter of time and effort gearing up even the worst heroes for cosmic or raid content. You could pick a favorite or a random and you'd be petty much just fine. My first unlock was squirrel girl and she was fun as hell till I hit a wall at the cosmic trial, about 4 months and 30+ heroes later I revisited her with all the knowledge and loot I've gotten since ands she's passed the trial. It wasn't that I was bored with her it's just all these heroes are fun in their own way. That said, aside from the normal pantheon of newbie friendly/op/600 ES heroes(doom, deadpool, rogue, spiderman, ect) and recommended early unlocks(warmachine for his badass skills and +1 fighting synergy, cyclops for his +10xp synergy and solid fundamentals, scarlet witch and storm for their aoe nuke everything to death at 200 splinters, ect) I'm going to throw out Black Cat for consideration. I did a write up [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/marvelheroes/comments/4le4eo/what_are_some_of_the_strongest_heros_and_why/d3mu4kh?context=3) , and everything there is still relevant. She hits hard, even when not geared or specced for max damage, she has insane survivability through her stealth, her 2 signatures and her 9 lives mechanic even when not geared or specced for that(I had, and still have the pot o gold and a vice rune and a bunch of item find booster omegas and did the cosmic trial on the first try with just basic level 60 grade 63 uniques and a few nice artifacts I got from story mode. 9 lives is basically a second health bar that restores 9% hp when you would have died, this is important because most charcters and some items have a self resurrection, but they'll still count as a death for things like the danger room, raids and cosmic trial which limit the number of times you can die. Her 9 lives DON'T count against those limits, meaning you can eat 9 packets of lethal damage and still be alive and fighting. These 9 lives give you opportunities other heroes don't have for DPS and a little breathing room to either stealth and brake agro or use a health kit. She's very easy to gear, she has very efficient skills, you don't need to spread your points too thin at all like some heroes, a nice variety of badass and spectacular skills, and once she has her slot #3 unique item and master thief she has almost no spirit issues. Also she gets these little loot items that can be sold for a bit of money, so early on when you need to level crafters or buy upgrades to gear, which is a huge deal in this game, she'll make that happen for you faster. Also I like the way her skills play out, between the whip, the claws, the little mines with the cat eyes on them, the way she flips out while doing all this, just badass and sassy. Bottom line Black Cat is at lest as OP and fun as doom, spidey, deadpool, scarlet witch, ect and has some really good utility and ease of use they don't offer and is a great bargain at 400 es or 450g as she is now. I wish someone had told me about her earlier. Another dude I like, Colossus, you will literally never die unless you are like trying to. He has a thing similar to BC, his osmium armor eats damage instead of his health bar, only it regens passively much faster and when you use certain skills. He hits hard too, and his power scales with his HP or defense, so the tankier you go the more damage you put out. And he does put out a loooot of damage. He attacks slow but the numbers are really high. He also throws wolverine at bad guys.

  • Lisa Shanahan Reply

    I switched to derevi too when that anti hexproof land came out and my playgroup started playing them. I've been trying to make competitive enchantress work for a while. Nekorin's derevi enchantress has been a great starting point. For more casual metas, [[martyr's cause]] and [[maze of ith]] with derevi can slow down creatures. You don't need parallax tide to make infinite mana with parallax wave and opalesence/starfield of nyx. You can make infinite mana with derevi AND tap down all opponents' permanents during each upkeep. If you do run enchanted evening, [[calming verse]] is better than aura thief. [[Squirrel's nest]] is probably better than sigil of the empty throne. It is cheaper, synergizes well with derevi, and combos with [[earthcraft]]. [[Sakashima the imposter]] is good with derevi. Grand arbiter, gaddock teeg, elesh norn, and other lockdown creatures could be good in here. [[Bloom tender]] is good. Some good tutors to consider: [[mystical tutor]], [[personal tutor]], [[merchant scroll]], [[open the armory]], [[heliod's pilgrim]], [[supply/demand]], [[muddle the Mixture]], [[birthing pod]]. Land auras like [[utopia sprawl]] are good in this and synergize with derevi. You can do a few things with these auras: 1. If you get a land to tap for 5 bant mana and a sac outlet you can get infinite sac triggers with derevi and infinite mana. 2. If you have a land that taps for 2 you can make infinite mana with [[cloudstone curio]], [[treachery]], and [[nature's chosen]] or [[copy enchantment]] or [[clever impersonator]]. Nature's chosen also helps lock down the board with stasis. Just remember to have a creature without summoning sickness. 3. You can do a similar thing with [[words of wind]] and an enchantress instead of the curio. If the land taps for 2 you bounce your opponents' boards. If a land taps for 3 you make infinite mana too. These are some basic ideas. Most of these are just cute combos though and aren't as resilient as other more reliable combos. I don't have a decklist yet but this should give some ideas. There should be some combination of combo, stax, and something to make a competitive derevi enchantress.

  • Reuben Mayert Reply

    Tiers are a bit in flux at the moment as the scoring system was reset. As a player used to smaller tiered combat, I suggest getting on the teamspeak of the larger server you were paired with. This will help a lot with organizing. Sadly, you'll probably have to change your tactics from what you're used to at lower tiers. (unless you play in "dead" times) Scouting: Perma stealth thief. Follow enemy zergs and report their positions and actions constantly to your commanders. Better than scouting a single objective and having to give a reactive call-out. Knocking: Your zerg hitting their Hills/Bay? Tap their Garrison so the enemy has to run farther or pop their emergency waypoint to defend it. Back cap camps and towers as enemy zergs leave them or are distracted fighting your own zergs. Team speak communication will help with that. Lower your standards on how long you'll be keeping certain towers or camps. Camps will rarely make it to an upgrade cycle. Towers capped away from your spawn will also be frequently flipped. General Roaming: There's still plenty of 1v1, 2v2, etc. opportunities out there. Try to get people in zergs to "squirrel" after you away from the main group. They'll fall behind and you'll get a more fair fight. The biggest thing that will help you is teamspeak. You are playing on a different tier now. That means you'll have to learn new tactics. It sucks, but that's what happens when Anet fucks around with population "balance".

  • Rory Paucek Reply

    Oh baby, this is my kind of thread. I love brewing up janky lists and playing with equally janky lists I find online at my legacy FNM. Over the past few months I've sleeved up: -Thoughtlash combo -Squirrels (basically elves but with squirrel tokens) -Bird-mageddon -Bomberman -False Cure -Grixis Thieves (Dack Fayden, Notion Thief, Humble Defector, Homeward Path) -Bug Psychatog Control -Basically every nicfit deck out there -BG Braids Stax -Various Dack Fayden/Goblin Welder artifact decks -Worldgorger reanimator -Mastery of the Unseen brews (both stiflenaught combo and miracle control) -Rector/Omnitell -UB Stifle/Sinkhole land d -Shardless Bant -RUG Control ...and probably a lot more I'm forgetting. Legacy is truly the best. There are few other formats where you can catch so many people offguard with off-the-wall decks that have a decent chance of stealing matches. The advantage of knowing how your deck beats the majority of the field more often than not makes up for the power-level disparity. Heck, even higher-profile non-tier 1 decks like Food Chain and Aluren still don't get the respect they deserve. So many people just don't know the lines those decks can have and make key mistakes.

  • Isabel Ferry Reply

    He debuted in Green Lantern #0 (part of an initiative done during the first year of DC's New 52 to bring in some origin stories). The FBI agent does give out his origin story a bit--he was a car thief that stole a car that happened to have some bombs in it which caused an explosion. Since "I was just stealing the car" isn't exactly the best alibi in the world, he was sent to Guantanamo Bay. At the same time, Hal Jordan and Sinestro, then partners in GLC, were captured by a super-villain and their ring (read, Sinestro's ring) was detached and found Simon. During that time, he went to clear his own name, gained his first sidekick/confidant in the GLC in C'hp, who *isn't* a talking squirrel despite what he looks like, and Simon discovered he could do amazing things that no other GL was able to do, like bring his brother out of a coma. He was also instrumental in getting Hal and Sinestro out to save the say and he gained his own ring for his trouble. After that, he was kind of in the background for a year or two, his most recent big role being in the miniseries Green Lantern Corps: Edge of Oblivion.

  • John Turner Reply

    Hi. I appreciate the feedback. I agree with the staff. I think I will replace that with a [[Thief of Blood]] to deal with planeswalkers and Kraj type decks. [[Pentavus]] .. I agree there too. I'll have to think of a less expensive alternative. I was surprised just how crazy good the Catpult has performed in the deck. I can ping a 1/1 critter of mine to get a squirrel, get the first critter back at end of turn, plus take advantage of all sac/etb/ltb triggers.

  • Cordie Brown Reply

    I literally keep just the max of any given die. The first few sets had some strange, seemingly random variability about how many dice were max. After the Battle for Faerun set, every card was Max 4, aside from the 4 super rares with unique dice starting in War of Light and the occasional promo (Phoenix Force, Atomica, Minsc and Boo, Bat Mite, Belaphoss, and Squirrel Girl had max 1 due to their dice being promotional as well), just about everything was Max 4. Some other oddities like OP Shazam and Flash had max 1 for no good reason and some other random stuff like OP Green Dragon and Halfling Thief had Max 3 for no good reason. Oh and TMNT were all max 3 since the set only came prepackaged. The starter characters from AvX had Max 5 on the uncommon versions, which is probably where the practice comes from. This includes Beast, Cap, Hulk, Torch, Iron Man, Spidey, Storm and Thor but there's really no reason to EVER run any of those with 5 except for maybe Beast.

  • Novella Mante Reply

    Fucking squirrels. Those assholes dug up pretty much every seed I had planted outside this year, and has been eating my strawberries for two years. Pretty sure my cat killed the strawberry thief, though. I found squirrel guts about a month and a half ago, and my strawberries are still alive, shockingly.

  • Sonia Luettgen Reply

    That squirrel is clearly a professional thief. The way it's playing it cool. The cute act is just a distraction. It was just waiting for its chance. Then bam it's all like "fuck you, it's mine now". My guess the squirrel was just going to sell it for drugs or nuts.

  • Nicole Jaskolski Reply

    I believe that is a "thief squirrel", a "squirrel thief" is a human that steals squirrels

  • Aniya Heaney Reply

    Wouldn't that be a thief squirrel? It isn't someone stealing squirrels.

  • Kenton Reilly Reply

    Yeah it should have been "Thief Squirrel".